15 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning @Chippy Sorry about yesterday mate, sounds like another wave. They just keep on coming,

Hopefully you will soon lift out of it and it will be short lived,🤞 wishing you the best mate.

Take care,       B.

Thanks bud. Ups and downs. 
 

Slept ok. 5 hours straight then another choppy 1.5-2. Feel rested. Heads burning again. 
 

Yesterday felt tired all day. No burning brain. There’s a pattern. 
 

Went for a little walk with the family. On the way home I had this overwhelming sense of NEEDING to sleep. It was horrible. Then in the supermarket my head was all over the place. Like the environment was overwhelming or something the sound of the fridges whirring or drowning in my head. Oddly when I got to the tills and it was chaos everyone seemed panicked by the situation yet I felt very calm. Which is typical me but it made me laugh that here I am suffering with med harm and if I went to see a doctor they would probably try to give me something but here I am in the shops cool as a cucumber whilst everyone around me seems so worried about which till is available next.

 

Had some other thoughts recently. I’ve been noticing myself coming back online. I don’t know how describe it apart from that. I hadn’t noticed but those little feelings you get. Not from big events in your life. But that feeling of well you get just being alive. Like waking up and there’s the smell of spring in the air and you feel whole somehow. Not because of any big thing has happened to make you feel joy. Just the sheer act of living and everything being right with your body. 
This feeling has left me and I’d not noticed. But now it’s starting to come back and now I remember. Like when you’re a kid and you lie in the grass looking up at the sky and just feel good with the sun on your face. Content. That feeling. Sorry a ramble but I wanted to try and share it. 
 

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy no not a ramble, just as you say REAL feelings coming back. The drugs are a VAST amount

more damaging than we ALL could have ever thought possible. Psychiatrists and Doctors don't even realise the

huge damage that they do. I am glad you are lifting again mate. Keep that gentle plodding.

Take care,        B.

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

Had some other thoughts recently. I’ve been noticing myself coming back online. I don’t know how describe it apart from that. I hadn’t noticed but those little feelings you get. Not from big events in your life. But that feeling of well you get just being alive. Like waking up and there’s the smell of spring in the air and you feel whole somehow. Not because of any big thing has happened to make you feel joy. Just the sheer act of living and everything being right with your body. 
This feeling has left me and I’d not noticed. But now it’s starting to come back and now I remember. Like when you’re a kid and you lie in the grass looking up at the sky and just feel good with the sun on your face. Content. That feeling. Sorry a ramble but I wanted to try and share it. 

What a beautiful text, chippy! Makes me sad and happy at the same time. I had a little moment, too , when everything seemed just “ right”, a couple of days ago. So wonderful. For me it has a lot to do with feeling peace in my body. I can often be happy about something, but it’s always over this sub feeling of alarm. When this alarm is gone, something like peace can be within the body and that feels so good.

I really hope that your  “coming back online” will accelerate!

maybe spring will help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Nemina said:

What a beautiful text, chippy! Makes me sad and happy at the same time. I had a little moment, too , when everything seemed just “ right”, a couple of days ago. So wonderful. For me it has a lot to do with feeling peace in my body. I can often be happy about something, but it’s always over this sub feeling of alarm. When this alarm is gone, something like peace can be within the body and that feels so good.

I really hope that your  “coming back online” will accelerate!

maybe spring will help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Nemina I hope you start to feel this too. Peace is a good way to describe it. 

Morning @Chippy How's it going mate? I hope you are still getting those REAL true feelings back

that's lost through psych drug mayhem. Wishing you the best Bud, keep gently plodding.

Take care,         B. 

5 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning @Chippy How's it going mate? I hope you are still getting those REAL true feelings back

that's lost through psych drug mayhem. Wishing you the best Bud, keep gently plodding.

Take care,         B. 

Morning mate. 
 

Im okish. Sort of ok. 5+ hours straight, though I know I was coming round a fair bit at points just ignoring it. Got some more choppy bits after for a couple of hours. So like a bad version of yesterday and I’m feeling that too, tired now, heads off. 
 

Yesterday I felt good in the morning just the bb. 7/10 would have been higher if not for the bb. It got worse throughout the day and by bed I felt very rough. 
 

So not a great few days but could be worse. Just how this goes isn’t it. 
 

Moral of the story don’t take Ads and don’t CT them. 

 

Chippy

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Morning mate. 
 

Im okish. Sort of ok. 5+ straight or though I know I was coming round a fair bit at points just ignoring it. Got some more choppy bits after for a couple of hours. So like a bad version of yesterday and I’m feeling that too tired now heads off. 
 

Yesterday I felt good in the morning just the bb. 7/10 would have been higher if not for the bb. It got worse throughout the day and by bed I felt very rough. 
 

So not a great few days but could be worse. Just how this goes isn’t it. 
 

Moral of the story don’t take Ads and don’t CT them. 

 

Chippy

Hey @Chippy your a real trooper. 

if only we know about these drugs before we consumed  them . 
keep plodding along like Mr B would say , we're all here for you mate 🙏

25 minutes ago, cheeky said:

Hey @Chippy your a real trooper. 

if only we know about these drugs before we consumed  them . 
keep plodding along like Mr B would say , we're all here for you mate 🙏

Bless you Cheeky. If I had a Time Machine….. Keep on plodding yourself! 

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Moral of the story don’t take Ads and don’t CT them

Jeez how I wish I would have had the magic Time Machine too…. The thing that kicks me the most is my instinct was telling me to stay clear for a month but, I ignored it. 
 

Always trust your gut is another morale to the story @Chippy. Hope you have a good day today. 

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

So not a great few days but could be worse. Just how this goes isn’t it. 
 

Sorry @Chippy yes a wave for sure, I am hoping you get a better day today mate, they do pass in time,

as long as it's not like mine lasting 3 months. No, no chance of that mate you will very soon be lifting out

of it and getting even BETTER. Guaranteed Bud.👍

Take care,       B.

28 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

eez how I wish I would have had the magic Time Machine too…. The thing that kicks me the most is my instinct was telling me to stay clear for a month but, I ignored it. 

If I had one I would lend it you no worries mate. Common story that one. I didnt have the instinct but Ive heard alot. Luke was the same.

 

28 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Always trust your gut is another morale to the story @Chippy. Hope you have a good day today. 

Yep we can add it to the list no worries! You too!

9 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Sorry @Chippy yes a wave for sure, I am hoping you get a better day today mate, they do pass in time,

as long as it's not like mine lasting 3 months. No, no chance of that mate you will very soon be lifting out

of it and getting even BETTER. Guaranteed Bud.👍

Take care,       B.

Thanks B. I think you're right a little wave. Nothing major but accept it and move on. Hope yours breaks properly very very soon. You deserve it with the time you've put into this. If only we knew how long. Gonna happen though sooner or later that I have NO doubt of.

30 minutes ago, Chippy said:

If only we knew how long

Thanks @Chippy That's the one right there, HOW LONG???? that's the mental torture, the NOT knowing

day to day. This is what makes it so difficult planning things, on a rare good day, we can foresee loads of 

plans, only to be abruptly dashed the very next day dropping into another horrendous wave. Nightmare.

TIME is indeed the one, we just don't know HOW MUCH. We just keep gently plodding.

Take care,       B.🤞

52 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Thanks B. I think you're right a little wave. Nothing major but accept it and move on.

Great attitude, as always, @Chippy. I really hope for you that this wave will break soon. Maybe you’ll come out of it on a better baseline, let’s see. 

Just now, Nemina said:

Great attitude, as always, @Chippy. I really hope for you that this wave will break soon. Maybe you’ll come out of it on a better baseline, let’s see. 

Thanks Nemina. I think this is always the hope it isn't it. Its only a little wave Im not suffering anything like some on here but its still not pleasant all the same! Appreciate the support as always 🙂 

9 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Its only a little wave Im not suffering anything like some on here but its still not pleasant

… I am sure you’re right. Just wanted to add : I remember it was you who said to me, that we do not compare suffering here. Everyone’s suffering is unique and valid. Xxx

3 minutes ago, Nemina said:

… I am sure you’re right. Just wanted to add : I remember it was you who said to me, that we do not compare suffering here. Everyone’s suffering is unique and valid. Xxx

This is very true and we shouldn't compare, suffering is suffering and non of it is ok. Thanks for the reminder Nemina 🙂 

2 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Jeez how I wish I would have had the magic Time Machine too…. The thing that kicks me the most is my instinct was telling me to stay clear for a month but, I ignored it. 
 

Always trust your gut is another morale to the story @Chippy. Hope you have a good day today. 

Oh yes, trusting your gut is so important. I ignored mine and stayed on the medication with ridiculous side effects for 5 months and listened to my prescriber who told me my ADR was actually due to perimenopause. Damn, don't we all wish we could go back in time.

9 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

Damn, don't we all wish we could go back in time.

I feel this deeply. 😞

Morning @Chippy how's it going mate? getting any better yet or what?

wishing you all the best mate, keep plodding.

Take care,      B.🤞

4 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning @Chippy how's it going mate? getting any better yet or what?

wishing you all the best mate, keep plodding.

Take care,      B.🤞

Morning mate!

 

Hard to tell it’s so slow!

 

Slept good. 6 hours straight. Deep lots of dreams. Then weird choppy sleep for another 1.5 hours or so. Turned the light on took a few minutes to bring myself to turn the heating on and get organised. Felt a bit like I could sleep some more or perhaps like my brain is starting to want to sleep some more. Slight cortisol chest or something. It’s easing now. Brains burning…
 

Yesterday was nauseous in the morning. It passed. Felt a bit on the tired side. So. No burning brain. 🤷‍♂️

Also kinda numb to those little details I was talking about. Not terrible just flat. Also felt like nothing had much flavour. Odd. 
I hate what this has done to my life. I think slowly it’s gonna keep improving but I wish for that Time Machine so much. 

59 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I think slowly it’s gonna keep improving but I wish for that Time Machine so much. 

Thanks @Chippy Yes that's the frustrating thing, the slowness of it all. Very sorry it's still 

taking it's time with you, it just makes it look worse every day. Heart breaking,  it's just keep 

plodding Bud.

Take care,      B.

9 hours ago, Chippy said:

Also kinda numb to those little details I was talking about. Not terrible just flat. Also felt like nothing had much flavour. Odd. 
I hate what this has done to my life. I think slowly it’s gonna keep improving but I wish for that Time Machine so much. 

Oh yes, we all do! I wonder, though, if looking back, we will find some meaning in this. 
for now, all we can do is keep going, learning to accept, and to not let go of hope. 
take care! Xxx

33 minutes ago, Nemina said:

Oh yes, we all do! I wonder, though, if looking back, we will find some meaning in this. 
for now, all we can do is keep going, learning to accept, and to not let go of hope. 
take care! Xxx

I do hope there is some meaning or some amazing spiritual moment we all get that makes us grateful for this experience but right now I cant find it! 😆

Morning @Chippy How's it going mate? I hope you are doing better. Keep plodding.

Take care,      B.🤞