1 hour ago, Nemina said:

Hey @Fullhealing, just dropping by to say hello on your thread!
 

I wanted to read your SA thread, but I cannot log into the old forum. It was the same yesterday. But I’m going to do it, as soon as it reopens or as I find out what my mistake is.

 

I hope that your flareup will pass soon!

Take very good care.

Thank you for stopping by @Nemina appreciate it!

Flare-up is gone but a bitter taste is still there.. not a good day today but I've had much worse if looking at the positive.

Hope you had/having a fair day and doing well atm. 

Edited March 19Mar 19 by Fullhealing

Update 1.30am

Tough day, physically, stiff neck and shoulders with headache, zero energy, completely drained, very tired body with no ability to catch up lost sleep hours.

two flare-ups throughout the day of burning sensation, heart palpitations, extreme fear in high intensity, luckily they faded quickly.

Mood was mostly down, lack of desire, zero motivation.

Activity, wasn't able to do much, couldn't work, gave up on my short evening walk as well.

Currently still down, a bit anxious, headache still present.

That's it, hope my sleep will settle, the lack is starting to bite too hard.

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you for stopping by @Nemina appreciate it!

Flare-up is gone but a bitter taste is still there.. not a good day today but I've had much worse if looking at the positive.

Hope you had/having a fair day and doing well atm. 

Glad you're feeling a little better @Fullhealing. Its good to focus on the positive, especially as our brains like to make us feel pessimistic 💕

39 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 1.30am

Tough day, physically, stiff neck and shoulders with headache, zero energy, completely drained, very tired body with no ability to catch up lost sleep hours.

two flare-ups throughout the day of burning sensation, heart palpitations, extreme fear in high intensity, luckily they faded quickly.

Mood was mostly down, lack of desire, zero motivation.

Activity, wasn't able to do much, couldn't work, gave up on my short evening walk as well.

Currently still down, a bit anxious, headache still present.

That's it, hope my sleep will settle, the lack is starting to bite too hard.

I've got the neck muscle spasms and headache too today!! I feel flattened, but I'm thinking my body is doing this on purpose so it can rest and get on with healing 🤗

1 hour ago, Catbird said:

I've got the neck muscle spasms and headache too today!! I feel flattened, but I'm thinking my body is doing this on purpose so it can rest and get on with healing 🤗

Just to add a good quality sleep to all of this, but oh well, it will fade for us at some point, hopefully sooner than later🤞

Edited March 20Mar 20 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Catbird said:

Glad you're feeling a little better @Fullhealing. Its good to focus on the positive, especially as our brains like to make us feel pessimistic 💕

Thank you! @Catbird 

19 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 1.30am

Tough day, physically, stiff neck and shoulders with headache, zero energy, completely drained, very tired body with no ability to catch up lost sleep hours.

two flare-ups throughout the day of burning sensation, heart palpitations, extreme fear in high intensity, luckily they faded quickly.

Mood was mostly down, lack of desire, zero motivation.

Activity, wasn't able to do much, couldn't work, gave up on my short evening walk as well.

Currently still down, a bit anxious, headache still present.

That's it, hope my sleep will settle, the lack is starting to bite too hard.

Update 9:00pm

Night went relatively quiet for a change, although I fell asleep very late with lots of awakening, I sleep in total about 6 hours, great blessing.

Today went better than yesterday, a little calmer mind, less depression and anxiety, I was able to do house/garden/animal chores without feeling like I was constantly on edge, the extreme fatigue went away and I was more energetic.

headache went away as well and my body was relatively calm, no flare-ups, there was only a brief moment when I lay down to rest and all my joints ached along with strong general weakness but again, it was short.

Digestion is also much better today.

Overall good improvement.

So far symptoms: tinnitus as usual, sinuses and stuffy nose (probably allergy-related).

Oh, forgot to mention that the annoying foot twitching that I experienced for months has completely disappeared a few days ago.

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 9:00pm

Night went relatively quiet for a change, although I fell asleep very late with lots of awakening, I sleep in total about 6 hours, great blessing.

Today went better than yesterday, a little calmer mind, less depression and anxiety, I was able to do house/garden/animal chores without feeling like I was constantly on edge, the extreme fatigue went away and I was more energetic.

headache went away as well and my body was relatively calm, no flare-ups, there was only a brief moment when I lay down to rest and all my joints ached along with strong general weakness but again, it was short.

Digestion is also much better today.

Overall good improvement.

So far symptoms: tinnitus as usual, sinuses and stuffy nose (probably allergy-related).

Oh, forgot to mention that the annoying foot twitching that I experienced for months has completely disappeared a few days ago.

This is looking good @Fullhealing I’m glad things were quieter over night too. Long may both continue 

@Fullhealing So good to hear your day was better.
It seems like the good periods are getting more frequent? 
We will get there all of us. 🙏💕

51 minutes ago, Chippy said:

This is looking good @Fullhealing I’m glad things were quieter over night too. Long may both continue 

Thanks @Chippy hope your day went good as well ☺️ 

6 minutes ago, Haa said:

@Fullhealing So good to hear your day was better.
It seems like the good periods are getting more frequent? 
We will get there all of us. 🙏💕

Thank you @Haa hopefully not just a glimmer but we'll deal with what comes as we always do.

I hope you are doing well 💞

On 3/20/2026 at 8:58 PM, Fullhealing said:

Update 9:00pm

Night went relatively quiet for a change, although I fell asleep very late with lots of awakening, I sleep in total about 6 hours, great blessing.

Today went better than yesterday, a little calmer mind, less depression and anxiety, I was able to do house/garden/animal chores without feeling like I was constantly on edge, the extreme fatigue went away and I was more energetic.

headache went away as well and my body was relatively calm, no flare-ups, there was only a brief moment when I lay down to rest and all my joints ached along with strong general weakness but again, it was short.

Digestion is also much better today.

Overall good improvement.

So far symptoms: tinnitus as usual, sinuses and stuffy nose (probably allergy-related).

Oh, forgot to mention that the annoying foot twitching that I experienced for months has completely disappeared a few days ago.

Update 9:00pm

Night - Sleep was disturbed with several awakenings but I managed to sleep a total of 5 hours so not that bad.

Day - Mood, was fine, without extreme fluctuations except for moments of restlessness.

Physically, strong headache almost all day, I'm trying to avoid painkillers so I let it be and it did subside about an hour ago.

Very sore and burning throat, likely related to smoking which has become quite extreme lately.. not good.

Allergies, pretty strong attacks during all day, mainly sneezing, burning eyes and runny nose.

Digestion, not great today.

From noon a sharp pain in my right hip joint, still present.

During the day I managed to catch up some sleep but it was sweaty, restless and I woke up with sky high cortisol, not refreshing at all..

All in all, so so, could be better obviously but there were much worse days so I'll take it.

Note - dropped 1% today.. we'll see how it goes.

Edited March 21Mar 21 by Fullhealing

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 9:00pm

Night - Sleep was disturbed with several awakenings but I managed to sleep a total of 5 hours so not that bad.

Day - Mood, was fine, without extreme fluctuations except for moments of restlessness.

Physically, strong headache almost all day, I'm trying to avoid painkillers so I let it be and it did subside about an hour ago.

Very sore and burning throat, likely related to smoking which has become quite extreme lately.. not good.

Allergies, pretty strong attacks during all day, mainly sneezing, burning eyes and runny nose.

Digestion, not great today.

From noon a sharp pain in my right hip joint, still present.

During the day I managed to catch up some sleep but it was sweaty, restless and I woke up with sky high cortisol, not refreshing at all..

All in all, so so, could be better obviously but there were much worse days so I'll take it.

Note - dropped 1% today.. we'll see how it goes.

Sounds rough @Fullhealing I hope you get some relief soon. How long have you been at your current dose? 🤗

17 minutes ago, Catbird said:

Sounds rough @Fullhealing I hope you get some relief soon. How long have you been at your current dose? 🤗

Thank you @Catbird hope you are doing well!

dropped 1% today, wish me luck 🤞

Edited March 21Mar 21 by Fullhealing

Hi @Fullhealing. It sounds like you're still having some struggles. I'm so sorry. I've experienced all the symptoms you've described during my unsuccessful tapers. It's a miserable state to be in, and I hope and pray for your healing.

I'm wondering why you're tapering right now with such symptoms. I'll be holding another week at my current dose due to symptoms. Sigh. It is what it is. Be gentle with yourself. Your perseverance is admirable.

xoxo Jamie

Hey @Fullhealing glad things are a least a bit better. Thinking of you as always. I’m curious why you dropped still? Are you not wanting to feel more stable before you do?

Hi @gardengirl2 & @Chippy thanks for the warm thoughts and prayers, appreciate it a lot.

What's sits there is that many of the symptoms are more from the drug itself rather from the taper since even on full dose I was far from well which is the main reason I decided to stop in the first place, so back and forth with a constant dilemma of whether to continue waiting months for the well to come or moving on with a slow taper in relatively short gups in the hope that as the drug clears the system heals better and therefore the symptoms will calm down, I may be wrong but I may not.. I know that for many to hold and wait is the right way to go but as I mentioned since I have more or less constant symptoms even before this process I feel that a tiny taper at a faster rate may be the right way for me.. out of the recommended protocol I know but we are all a little different..

Note, cuts are going to be at 1% which I haven't done until recently in the hope that the landing will be soft.. we'll see, I'll pray for that.

6 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Hi @gardengirl2 & @Chippy thanks for the warm thoughts and prayers, appreciate it a lot.

What's sits there is that many of the symptoms are more from the drug itself rather from the taper since even on full dose I was far from well which is the main reason I decided to stop in the first place, so back and forth with a constant dilemma of whether to continue waiting months for the well to come or moving on with a slow taper in relatively short gups in the hope that as the drug clears the system heals better and therefore the symptoms will calm down, I may be wrong but I may not.. I know that for many to hold and wait is the right way to go but as I mentioned since I have more or less constant symptoms even before this process I feel that a tiny taper at a faster rate may be the right way for me.. out of the recommended protocol I know but we are all a little different..

Note, cuts are going to be at 1% which I haven't done until recently in the hope that the landing will be soft.. we'll see, I'll pray for that.

No I get it completely. I think for some continuing to taper is the right move. I don’t think you are wrong at all. Sounds like youre listening to your body. If you think it would benefit from less drug that may well be the case. Xxxx

Hey @Fullhealing

 

Just catching up, sounds like you’re still struggling but continuing the taper with a 1% drop. I’ve read quite a few threads over the years which are similar to yours, where the symptoms caused by the drug start to ease when at very low doses or when the drug is removed. My hope is that you can continue to taper very slowly and these symptoms start to fade away and give you some relief. I hope the recent 1% drop goes well. 
 

 

13 minutes ago, Chippy said:

No I get it completely. I think for some continuing to taper is the right move. I don’t think you are wrong at all. Sounds like youre listening to your body. If you think it would benefit from less drug that may well be the case. Xxxx

Yes @Chippy we listen to our body but know after the fact, that's how it is..

Thanks for the reinforcement on this 🙏

Let's hope for the best.

Just now, Fullhealing said:

Yes @Chippy we listen to our body but know after the fact, that's how it is..

Thanks for the reinforcement on this 🙏

Let's hope for the best.

Got it crossed! Xxx

22 minutes ago, NBJ71 said:

Hey @Fullhealing

 

Just catching up, sounds like you’re still struggling but continuing the taper with a 1% drop. I’ve read quite a few threads over the years which are similar to yours, where the symptoms caused by the drug start to ease when at very low doses or when the drug is removed. My hope is that you can continue to taper very slowly and these symptoms start to fade away and give you some relief. I hope the recent 1% drop goes well. 
 

 

Thank you for catching up @NBJ71 I hope so too, we'll know in a while that's for sure.

And how are you in this nightmarish process? I hope you're doing well atm.

Edited March 22Mar 22 by Fullhealing

On 3/20/2026 at 1:58 PM, Fullhealing said:

Update 9:00pm

Night went relatively quiet for a change, although I fell asleep very late with lots of awakening, I sleep in total about 6 hours, great blessing.

Today went better than yesterday, a little calmer mind, less depression and anxiety, I was able to do house/garden/animal chores without feeling like I was constantly on edge, the extreme fatigue went away and I was more energetic.

headache went away as well and my body was relatively calm, no flare-ups, there was only a brief moment when I lay down to rest and all my joints ached along with strong general weakness but again, it was short.

Digestion is also much better today.

Overall good improvement.

So far symptoms: tinnitus as usual, sinuses and stuffy nose (probably allergy-related).

Oh, forgot to mention that the annoying foot twitching that I experienced for months has completely disappeared a few days ago.

You are doing great.  You are listening to your body

  I hope your symptoms will fade away with your drops.   Some people have to drop no matter the circumstances...

 

In my case, holding was the best choice.   I am feeling better and the desire to drop kind of came back, but I'm allowing my CNS to be stronger before Tapering...

 

Good luck.....you will do fine.  You are at a low dose...

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

You are doing great.  You are listening to your body

  I hope your symptoms will fade away with your drops.   Some people have to drop no matter the circumstances...

 

In my case, holding was the best choice.   I am feeling better and the desire to drop kind of came back, but I'm allowing my CNS to be stronger before Tapering...

 

Good luck.....you will do fine.  You are at a low dose...

Thank you @Raymond appreciate your support here. hopefully when the time comes for you it will go as easy as possible, I'll 🤞 for you!

Keep doing so well!

 

Update 21:30pm

Night-sleep was disturbed as usual I should say, many awakenings however I went back to sleep relatively quickly, 5 hours in total.

I got up very early, so the body decided, cortisol was there but not particularly high.

I went to work, managed to put in more hours than my usual, mood was relatively good, wasn't gloomy with a hand on the clock waiting to run, on the contrary, I was able to find some humor with other employees and laugh a little, quite rare, usually everything gets on my nerves, it was refreshing however there were small moments of legitimate external triggers that angered me but not to the point of an outburst which unfortunately is typical of me in this process, I had more control which is really good.

When I got home, there was a bit of a mental and physical fall, not extreme but still unpleasant, some racing thoughts, sadness and my body felt exhausted, I managed to sleep for about an hour, unfortunately the sleep was not refreshing at all, I woke up with a confused sense of time and space, I didn't know where I was and thought it was already morning but it passed quickly.

As for now, still relatively fine, the mind is a bit restless but nothing more than that, body is relatively calm, the headache including pain in the hip joint from yesterday is gone.

pain and burning throat from yesterday have also almost completely gone, so related to smoking, withdrawal, allergies... likely combined.

Digestion is back to its usual bad today.

Allergies, as usual in attacks throughout the day, including some skin flare-ups of itching and a feeling of heat but not extreme.

That's it, overall it's still on improvement line and I'm very grateful, just hope it's not a placebo effect.. we'll see about that..

Edited March 22Mar 22 by Fullhealing