April 19Apr 19 1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:Update 12:30pmNot going well, a heavy and thick fog for a few days now, everything feels completely dull, the most trivial thing suck enormous energy, totally drained.The disturbed night's sleep is starting to mix with the day and the little routine I had is starting to disappear.Physically, hard to keep up, one pain is replacing another at a rapid pace..The first day of the week, a lot of work awaits and zero strength to motivate myself.I know, it's all part of the journey but while in it's brutal.So today I'll give myself space to sink a little into the swamp of self-pity but tomorrow two small, gentle slaps to shake myself up, bad place to feel "comfortable" in..Hope you'll in a tolerable place atm 🙏Hey Fullhealing. I think it’s ok to have a day like that. I did too this week. Kinda depressed. Feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes you have to let those symptoms be there and recognise them, give them attention. It’s part of the process I think. Then we go back to floating and accepting, not resisting. Natural cycle. You’ll come out of this! Can’t believe how involved you are still in mentoring atm! The strength. 🛡️ ⚔️ I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:Update 12:30pmNot going well, a heavy and thick fog for a few days now, everything feels completely dull, the most trivial thing suck enormous energy, totally drained.The disturbed night's sleep is starting to mix with the day and the little routine I had is starting to disappear.Physically, hard to keep up, one pain is replacing another at a rapid pace..The first day of the week, a lot of work awaits and zero strength to motivate myself.I know, it's all part of the journey but while in it's brutal.So today I'll give myself space to sink a little into the swamp of self-pity but tomorrow two small, gentle slaps to shake myself up, bad place to feel "comfortable" in..Hope you'll in a tolerable place atm 🙏 I hope you have a great day today. You have been handling things very well. Keep moving forward. 08/01/2009- Klonopin 1mg, but took only .25mg when needed, and end up taking every day for 3 years. 08/01/2012 - Paraxotine 20 mg12/2024- reinstated 5mg (.0740g)after cold turkey. First tapering 07/01/2025 = 1.2% , 09/01/2025 - another 1.4%. 10/01/2025- 4.79mg (.0716g) holding until further notice........04/17/26 resumed taper 0714g (4.78mg). 05/20/2026- .0712g (4.76mg, .28% cut). 06/09/2026- .0708g (4.73mg .56% cut). 06/30/2026 - .0706g (4.72mg .33%). 07/28/2026 - .0700g (4.68mg, .85%).
April 19Apr 19 Author 2 hours ago, Beehive said:@FullhealingFullhealing My heart goes out to you ❤️ please be kind to yourself, you are going through an extremely difficult journey and grief. I just wish I could take it all away. Not getting a great sleep certainly takes its toll. You've not failed in any way ,you are doing your best in a very difficult situation. ❤️Thanks for the kind words @Beehive indeed a mix of things that feel like an atomic explosion. I'll work on keeping my head down, reducing unnecessary pressure and letting time take its course. It will pass like it always does 🙏❤️ 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 Author 1 hour ago, Chippy said:Hey Fullhealing. I think it’s ok to have a day like that. I did too this week. Kinda depressed. Feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes you have to let those symptoms be there and recognise them, give them attention. It’s part of the process I think. Then we go back to floating and accepting, not resisting. Natural cycle.You’ll come out of this! Can’t believe how involved you are still in mentoring atm! The strength. 🛡️ ⚔️Thank you for being always so supportive great @Chippy just an awful few days, it will pass, nothing last forever. 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 Just now, Fullhealing said:nothing last forever.100%! I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 Sending you love support and good healing wishes ...you are never alone we are with you all the way ❤️ 2016 - 2019 Sertraline 25mg highest dose 100mg 2019 C Ted 25mg Bad withdrawals 01/2020 reinstated 25mg 06/2020 - 12/2021 tapered from 100mg to 6mg jumped off .bad withdrawals like before . 06/2022 reinstated 25mg 10/2023 started taper of 25mg not sure of starting drops 04/2025 5mg 06/2025 4.1mg 08/2025 3.5mg 10/2025 3.1 mg 12/2025 2.5mg 01/2026 to present 2.27mg
April 19Apr 19 10 minutes ago, Beehive said:you are never alone we are with you all the way ❤️100% @Fullhealing xxx I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 @Fullhealing 100% 🩷 For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mgIntense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed 2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return
April 19Apr 19 Author Strong hellish wave today @Beehive @Chippy @Finni very emotional and overwhelmed atm, completely exposed without a layer of protection.. hard to bear being so vulnerable.It will pass I know, patience, acceptance, time..Thank you so much for being here 🩷 Edited April 19Apr 19 by Fullhealing 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:Strong hellish wave today @Beehive @Chippy @Finni very emotional and overwhelmed atm, completely exposed without a layer of protection.. hard to bear being so vulnerable.It will pass I know, patience, acceptance, time..Thank you so much for being 🩷Yes, you know it'll pass--hang onto that and be kind to yourself till you feel more stable. We all have a bad day, but a bad day isn't a lifetime. Started Paxil for GAD in 1999 Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006 Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009 Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.
April 19Apr 19 Just now, Fullhealing said:It will pass I know, patience, acceptance, time..That’s right! It will pass. Sorry to hear though Fullhealing. If I had a magic wand! 🛡️ ⚔️ 🪄 I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 Author 6 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:Yes, you know it'll pass--hang onto that and be kind to yourself till you feel more stable. We all have a bad day, but a bad day isn't a lifetime.Thank you so much @mstimc60 everything just feels so extra dramatic and I'm not the dramatic type..This process is bringing out sides of me that I didn't know or hoped existed, hopefully these are neuroemotions and not something that will follow me from here on out.. Edited April 19Apr 19 by Fullhealing 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:I really hope these are neuroemotions and not something that will follow me from here on out..Definitely just neuro emotions! I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 Author 9 minutes ago, Chippy said:That’s right! It will pass. Sorry to hear though Fullhealing. If I had a magic wand! 🛡️ ⚔️ 🪄If only we had... I can handle this, just an awful day with a self-pity party... I'll get over it.Thank you so much dear @Chippy 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 Just now, Fullhealing said:with a self-pity party...Just part of the process. Sometimes it’s what we need to do. You’ll bounce back strong tomorrow! 💪 I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 Author 1 minute ago, Chippy said:Just part of the process. Sometimes it’s what we need to do. You’ll bounce back strong tomorrow! 💪YES! Just a tiny stone in the way.. @Chippy thank you🙏🙏 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 Just now, Fullhealing said:YES! Just a tiny stone in the way.. @Chippy thank you🙏🙏👊 I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.ukFor US members details here.
April 19Apr 19 @Fullhealing It won't stop your suffering but that sounded like me yesterday, it was totally torturous ,like every emotion I had stored deep came out ! The crying and despair was on another level ...but that was yesterday today yes a brief upset but overall not a peak of what I went through yesterday, I feel slightly cleansed ...hope that helps ,I feel you 🙏❤️ 2016 - 2019 Sertraline 25mg highest dose 100mg 2019 C Ted 25mg Bad withdrawals 01/2020 reinstated 25mg 06/2020 - 12/2021 tapered from 100mg to 6mg jumped off .bad withdrawals like before . 06/2022 reinstated 25mg 10/2023 started taper of 25mg not sure of starting drops 04/2025 5mg 06/2025 4.1mg 08/2025 3.5mg 10/2025 3.1 mg 12/2025 2.5mg 01/2026 to present 2.27mg
April 19Apr 19 Author 19 minutes ago, Beehive said:@Fullhealing It won't stop your suffering but that sounded like me yesterday, it was totally torturous ,like every emotion I had stored deep came out ! The crying and despair was on another level ...but that was yesterday today yes a brief upset but overall not a peak of what I went through yesterday, I feel slightly cleansed ...hope that helps ,I feel you 🙏❤️Truly amazing when those waves hits how they sweeping away every good memory ever and replacing it with despair and darkness.. unbelievable what these chemicals do! The positive here is that it only strengthens my determination to get rid of this poison with all the difficulty that entails.Thank God it significantly eased for you today @Beehive may it stretches as much as possible 💞 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 @Fullhealing That's it !! The positive here is that it strengthens my determination. You still got that fight in you ,it hasn't completely consumed you ,you are still there and I can feel you are getting stronger ,you won't let this beat you ,you will be victorius and you will come out of this ,I believe in you keep the faith don't let it drag you down you are better than this ,show it whose boss!! ❤️ Edited April 19Apr 19 by Beehive 2016 - 2019 Sertraline 25mg highest dose 100mg 2019 C Ted 25mg Bad withdrawals 01/2020 reinstated 25mg 06/2020 - 12/2021 tapered from 100mg to 6mg jumped off .bad withdrawals like before . 06/2022 reinstated 25mg 10/2023 started taper of 25mg not sure of starting drops 04/2025 5mg 06/2025 4.1mg 08/2025 3.5mg 10/2025 3.1 mg 12/2025 2.5mg 01/2026 to present 2.27mg
April 19Apr 19 Author 7 minutes ago, Beehive said:@Fullhealing That's it !! The positive here is that it strengthens my determination. You still got that fight in you ,it hasn't completely consumed you ,you are still there and I can feel you are getting stronger ,you won't let this beat you ,you will be victorius and you will come out of this ,I believe in you keep the faith don't let it drag you down you are better than this ,show it whose boss!! ❤️Yes, love that spirit @Beehive thank you for sending me some of your strength!How hard and brutal it my be, we got this!Wishing you a peaceful night with a long, quality sleep 💤 💜 Edited April 19Apr 19 by Fullhealing 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 @Fullhealing I’m having the same kind of day after a relatively better day yesterday!I keep saying I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this because it’s so chemical and it’s overtaking me so intensely.Tomorrow is another day 💗 For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mgIntense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed 2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return
April 19Apr 19 Author 7 minutes ago, Finni said:@FullhealingI’m having the same kind of day after a relatively better day yesterday!I keep saying I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this because it’s so chemical and it’s overtaking me so intensely.Tomorrow is another day 💗So sorry for the tough day @Finni we will continue to remind each other that it is all a chemical product and it will pass, in the end, despite all the difficulty, we manage to get through it every time, this is where true strength is measured and we have it in abundance.I hope we wake up to a bright and easy day tomorrow, good night, sleep well 🩷 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
April 19Apr 19 6 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:So sorry for the tough day @Finni we will continue to remind each other that it is all a chemical product and it will pass, in the end, despite all the difficulty, we manage to get through it every time, this is where true strength is measured and we have it in abundance.I hope we wake up to a bright and easy day tomorrow, good night, sleep well 🩷Sending good thoughts your way for a very rejuvenating sleep.✨✨I have a few more hours of this day to go, but I’m going to make it 🙏 For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mgIntense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed 2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return
April 19Apr 19 Author 4 minutes ago, Finni said:Sending good thoughts your way for a very rejuvenating sleep.✨✨I have a few more hours of this day to go, but I’m going to make it 🙏I keep forgetting the different time zones 🤦 you definitely will! 👊 Edited April 19Apr 19 by Fullhealing 1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawalMany attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)Supplements:Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.
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