59 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Overall excellent improvement compared to the last constant hellish month, although not long enough to know if it is the saffron that gives a positive kick, in any case I was very afraid of an abyssal dive after the big reduction but it seems that it is only getting better, I hope it continue, if not, we'll deal with what comes.

Sounds like you're doing great, @Fullhealing ! Positive thoughts to you for tomorrow's errands!

6 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

Sounds like you're doing great, @Fullhealing ! Positive thoughts to you for tomorrow's errands!

So Kind of you @mstimc60 thank you!

You don't have to be 💯 healed before you start living. Good one.

@Chippy dear, wanted to share and consult with you if you don't mind.

So last night after a week of seemingly improvement, things turned around very quickly, went to work after almost a month which was definitely challenging but despite my brain fog I managed to give 6 hours of work, my mental at that point was still relatively fine but as time moved towards the evening I started to feel this oppressive internal burning with building catastrophe, I did managed to push it away a little until I got home but there, goodness, everything turned black, it felt like my body was melting, everything was spinning, my brain was racing, so much fear and terror, I couldn't sit still, was grilling so went for an evening walk to try to release it which didn't help at all, must have looked completely haunted, so embarrassing.. and that's exactly how I felt throughout the last few weeks almost immediately after the dose which made me think I'm experiencing paradoxical reaction but yesterday it was way far from my daily dose.

Now, I'm not naive to think that a 20% reduction wouldn't bring unwanted surprises, but I didn't expect anything like that, especially after an improvement.

It's morning now and I still feel like I'm still grilling and it slowly building up exactly like yesterday and I haven't even taken today's dose yet!

I wonder what the hell is happening!? was there really a paradoxical reaction or was it a continuous, horrible wave with a coincidence of flare-ups after taking a dose? Maybe the saffron gave some benefit and now it's turning on me? It seems like whatever I decide will cause a reaction no matter what, even staying on the same dose for months didn't do any good, on the contrary, I only got worse..

What would you suggest to someone with a paradoxical reaction? make sense that getting off the drug quickly is the way to go, but that might bring brutal withdrawal symptoms that could mimic a paradoxical reaction and also possibly a severe, ongoing reaction after zero that could occur regardless of the rapid reduction? such a trap and I know there is no certainty, it is ultimately trial and error, everyone reacts differently even if based on the rule but anyways I'd really appreciate your thoughts on this.

Hope you are doing well, I didn't see you here much yesterday.

Thank you xxx

Edited July 20Jul 20 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

@Chippy dear, wanted to share and consult with you if you don't mind.

I never mind Fullhealing especially for you x

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

So last night after a week of seemingly improvement, things turned around very quickly, went to work after almost a month which was definitely challenging but despite my brain fog I managed to give 6 hours of work, my mental at that point was still relatively fine but as time moved towards the evening I started to feel this oppressive internal burning with building catastrophe, I did managed to push it away a little until I got home but there, goodness, everything turned black, it felt like my body was melting, everything was spinning, my brain was racing, so much fear and terror, I couldn't sit still, was grilling so went for an evening walk to try to release it which didn't help at all, must have looked completely haunted, so embarrassing.. and that's exactly how I felt throughout the last few weeks almost immediately after the dose which made me think I'm experiencing paradoxical reaction but yesterday it was way far from my daily dose.

Now, I'm not naive to think that a 20% reduction wouldn't bring unwanted surprises, but I didn't expect anything like that, especially after an improvement.

It sounds like to me the regular pattern of reaction immediately after the dose would point strongly to poopout/tolerance issues so I think reducing was a good move and that theory is supported by your bodies postive reaction to it. The issue with tapering out of a situation like this is that you are not then immune from WD symptoms. Obviously you cut a very large amount especially for the dose you are currently on (lower the slower). What would have been better is to test the waters with a smaller cut and then control the WD Symptoms/tolerance benefits from cutting with little holds, perhaps using a a brass monkey slide.

What to do now is a tough call. You could try a small updose (not back to the orginal dose just rewind some of the cut )and see if that eases the WD symptoms for you, but as you are reacting to the dose you might not want to try this, we can't know how that would go but it might help.

The only other alternative is to hold again and hope the wd symptoms reduce. If you continue to see them be dose related in the near future perhaps try another little cut, but I would hope the the 20+% reduction you have just done is enough to keep that reaction pressure down for the minute to allow you to give the WD symptoms enough time to ease before cutting again. xxxxx

 Tachyphylaxis, Reaching Tolerance or as It's Lovingly Known “Poop-Out”

19 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I never mind Fullhealing especially for you x

It sounds like to me the regular pattern of reaction immediately after the dose would point strongly to poopout/tolerance issues so I think reducing was a good move and that theory is supported by your bodies postive reaction to it. The issue with tapering out of a situation like this is that you are not then immune from WD symptoms. Obviously you cut a very large amount especially for the dose you are currently on (lower the slower). What would have been better is to test the waters with a smaller cut and then control the WD Symptoms/tolerance benefits from cutting with little holds, perhaps using a a brass monkey slide.

What to do now is a tough call. You could try a small updose (not back to the orginal dose just rewind some of the cut )and see if that eases the WD symptoms for you, but as you are reacting to the dose you might not want to try this, we can't know how that would go but it might help.

The only other alternative is to hold again and hope the wd symptoms reduce. If you continue to see them be dose related in the near future perhaps try another little cut, but I would hope the the 20+% reduction you have just done is enough to keep that reaction pressure down for the minute to allow you to give the WD symptoms enough time to ease before cutting again. xxxxx

 Tachyphylaxis, Reaching Tolerance or as It's Lovingly Known “Poop-Out”

Thank you for taking the time to answer @Chippy and for your thoughts, really appreciate it.

I'm honestly lost as to what's going on because it could be a bit of everything.. so damn confusing..

I haven't taken my daily dose yet and I just keep getting flared up, it might be best to do nothin, It's likely that the system took a hard hit that showed up late and needs to be given a rest.. Anyway we'll see how things go and thanks again! You're the best!!

Edited July 20Jul 20 by Fullhealing

13 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

it might be best to do nothin,

Often is my friend.

13 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Anyway we'll see how things go and thanks again!

Pleasure xxxxx

I’m so sorry you’re back in the trenches @Fullhealing. I hope this one passes quickly. Please keep us updated on how you’re doing, we’re always here for you 💜.

3 hours ago, SarahMc said:

I’m so sorry you’re back in the trenches @Fullhealing. I hope this one passes quickly. Please keep us updated on how you’re doing, we’re always here for you 💜.

Thank you @SarahMc still going brutal, guess I pushed too hard with my recent changes including yesterday's work after a long absence, the final blow to this terrible flare most likely.

Frustrating pain to navigate a path full of unexpected mines isn't it.. well, we keep on moving forward even if we flew 10 back, no other choice really.

Hope the day is kind to you and you're doing well 🩷

Edited July 20Jul 20 by Fullhealing

3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you @SarahMc still going brutal, guess I pushed too hard with my recent changes including yesterday's work after a long absence, the final blow to this terrible flare most likely.

Frustrating pain to navigate a path full of unexpected mines isn't it.. well, we keep on moving forward even if we flew 10 back, no other choice really.

I'll keep you in my thoughts 💜❤️‍🩹.

3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope the day is kind to you and you're doing well 🩷

Thanks, I seem to be past the worst of things and onto the sloooowwwww road to stabilization (fingers crossed!!)

7 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

I seem to be past the worst of things and onto the sloooowwwww road to stabilization (fingers crossed!!)

Awesome @SarahMc so pleased for you! you more than deserve it ❤️

Update 21.07.26 17:30 evening

Yesterday strong flare-up, hysterical most of the day, body on fire and restless including a short, sweaty and hallucinatory sleep during the day, in the evening managed to drag myself for an evening walk which gave a little relief.

The night passed restlessly and today started with a dip in depression, so far I am still in a pretty crappy state although less of a burning sensation.

In terms of pain, there is still a big improvement since starting the saffron but this is pretty much the only relief that manages to last.

Also, in the last 8 months my period comes randomly and rarely so there is the hormonal factor which certainly adds a lot including, let's not forget, the last big cut which certainly still provokes a reaction.

So not much to do except give the system a long rest in terms of dosage, flow with what is without resisting which is so challenging going against the basic instinct when suffering but definitely a good lesson that if applied properly very rewarding and something I will certainly encounter further.

Lot of learning in the making here but there's no life without learning of which brutality is a part, it's just the way it is.

Edited July 21Jul 21 by Fullhealing

Fullhealing, sorry to hear the last drop threw you back a bit. I know that work can definitely be taxing on the cns, and yes our women issue don't help at that time of the month, they seem to be all over the place. I remember a moment when I took to big of a drop while working, it threw me back quite a bit, but I had to be patient with myself and let things stabilize. You are in my thoughts. Sending prayers to some much needed relief 💗

1 hour ago, Bernadette said:

Fullhealing, sorry to hear the last drop threw you back a bit. I know that work can definitely be taxing on the cns, and yes our women issue don't help at that time of the month, they seem to be all over the place. I remember a moment when I took to big of a drop while working, it threw me back quite a bit, but I had to be patient with myself and let things stabilize. You are in my thoughts. Sending prayers to some much needed relief 💗

Thank you @Bernadette glad to see you're back in full force, hope it indicates you're feeling better! 🩷

Congrats on the new role, you're doing fantastic, appreciate you.

Edited July 21Jul 21 by Fullhealing

Just now, Fullhealing said:

Thanks for the kind words @Bernadette glad to see you're back in full force, hope it indicates you're feeling better! 🩷

Congrats on the new role, you're doing fantastic, we all appreciate it xx

Thank you Fullhealing, yes, mys system deffinatly had a set back but tried to reinforce my train of thought that this will pass and just part of the process. Ya it throws you for a loopfor a bit, but I've been trying to teach myself to to not let the feeling take over, and they only need to come and go. I tell myself, I'm stronger than this an will not let this defeat me, and refuse to give it the power. I am strong and resilient. The Lord my God will and has given me the strength. I'm sending a extra prayer for some needed relief for you and all that are enduring this process.

So sorry to read about this terrible new wave, @Fullhealing ! Maybe this is just a short and intense reaction to the 20% cut, which hopefully will benefit you on the long run, because you are getting this drug out of your system. I can understand so well the feeling of being trapped. On some days I think I will just taper it down quickly now, because this slow way it will never be over,and the symptoms are so terrible. And other days, I think I should stay on my dose and hold for a long time to get rid of the symptoms…. in the end so far I have just kept going slowly and I will never know if this has been a good idea.

I think of you and send you a hug and I will pray for you.

42 minutes ago, Nemina said:

So sorry to read about this terrible new wave, @Fullhealing ! Maybe this is just a short and intense reaction to the 20% cut, which hopefully will benefit you on the long run, because you are getting this drug out of your system. I can understand so well the feeling of being trapped. On some days I think I will just taper it down quickly now, because this slow way it will never be over,and the symptoms are so terrible. And other days, I think I should stay on my dose and hold for a long time to get rid of the symptoms…. in the end so far I have just kept going slowly and I will never know if this has been a good idea.

I think of you and send you a hug and I will pray for you.

Navigate a dark trap, exactly! What a crazy journey..

Hope you are doing well these last few days @Nemina and thank you for the kind words, you are wonderful.

Prayers of healing and peace back to you dear 🩷

Update 24.07.26 11am

had to stop taking saffron two days ago due to a blistering rash on my chest that didn't go away. although I suffer from skin flares from time to time as part of wd and my allergies, they don't look the same and go away very quickly, so I'm not sure if it's related, but I also thought that if saffron works in the same mechanism on serotonin plus GABA, glutamate and dopamine, maybe I'm getting myself into big trouble that will cause hell when I try to stop later. Anyway, back to square one plus severe headaches and neck pain that didn't take long to arrive. sucks, saffron worked great as a painkiller.

In general, seems that my body can't tolerate anything, I tried magnesium again two days ago which threw me into a serious slump, so it's better to give my fragile system a rest although I admit that it's really hard to resist the temptation to continue experimenting in hope for a miracle that most likely not there..

So here we are, continuing to work on patience and acceptance and giving time without defining it.

Tough!!

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 24.07.26 11am

had to stop taking saffron two days ago due to a blistering rash on my chest that didn't go away. although I suffer from skin flares from time to time as part of wd and my allergies, they don't look the same and go away very quickly, so I'm not sure if it's related, but I also thought that if saffron works in the same mechanism on serotonin plus GABA, glutamate and dopamine, maybe I'm getting myself into big trouble that will cause hell when I try to stop later. Anyway, back to square one plus severe headaches and neck pain that didn't take long to arrive. sucks, saffron worked great as a painkiller.

In general, seems that my body can't tolerate anything, I tried magnesium again two days ago which threw me into a serious slump, so it's better to give my fragile system a rest although I admit that it's really hard to resist the temptation to continue experimenting in hope for a miracle that most likely not there..

So here we are, continuing to work on patience and acceptance and giving time without defining it.

Tough!!

Continued..

So as mentioned, pain is back with revenge, woke up today with explosive headache that radiates to my right eye, my mood is not particularly terrible, yesterday was much worse, burning sensation has subsided, it flares up when the mind enters catastrophic mode, which has not happened yet today.

Also, my dog's condition is getting worse as expected with Alzheimer's, it seems tho that something else is going on as he also has pain that come and goes, he does get medication that suppose to help symptomatically but except making him a bit tired doesn't do much.. this whole situation is very frustrating because he is almost 17, too old to undergo serious tests now and even if something else is discovered I will definitely not put him through hell of treatments so I'm working on preparing for the moment when his beautiful soul crosses over but gosh, it is so difficult!! on the other hand, my rabbit, who I was sure was on the verge of death, is improving after prolonged treatment, currently he looks good but he is also very old which is clear where this is going.. so here to, working on be in the present and not wander far away.. my mind is not being kind and doesn't need any more challenges.

💜💜💜 I’m so sorry @Fullhealing, for you and your fur babies. You have been going through so much and you have shown amazing strength to keep getting through each day and continue caring for yourself and your animals. I know this latest hurdle feels like a huge mountain to climb, but you will get to the other side. I believe in you 100%. Sending all the love to you, your little pup and your rabbit.

7 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

💜💜💜 I’m so sorry @Fullhealing, for you and your fur babies. You have been going through so much and you have shown amazing strength to keep getting through each day and continue caring for yourself and your animals. I know this latest hurdle feels like a huge mountain to climb, but you will get to the other side. I believe in you 100%. Sending all the love to you, your little pup and your rabbit.

Thank you so much @SarahMc you're so sweet!! Appreciate you 🩷

Also sending you lots of love @Fullhealing .

You deserve a break. It will come and i truly hope sooner than later.

I am totally exhausted from my trip and out of my routine. Huge challenges ongoing.

Lots of love to you xxx

On 7/24/2026 at 3:31 AM, Fullhealing said:

this whole situation is very frustrating because he is almost 17, too old to undergo serious tests now and even if something else is discovered I will definitely not put him through hell of treatments so I'm working on preparing for the moment when his beautiful soul crosses over but gosh, it is so difficult!! on the other hand, my rabbit, who I was sure was on the verge of death, is improving after prolonged treatment, currently he looks good but he is also very old which is clear where this is going.. so here to, working on be in the present and not wander far away.. my mind is not being kind and doesn't need any more challenges.

So sorry to read about your dog, @Fullhealing . Some people may say "they're only pets" but they truly are members of the family. I had to put several dogs down and it never gets easier, but I agree there is no point in making them hang on longer just so we can keep them around. Prayers and positive thoughts on the way!

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

So sorry to read about your dog, @Fullhealing . Some people may say "they're only pets" but they truly are members of the family. I had to put several dogs down and it never gets easier, but I agree there is no point in making them hang on longer just so we can keep them around. Prayers and positive thoughts on the way!

That's the part we don't want to meet but always meets us in all kinds of forms, never easy let alone in this crazy process but he's still here so I'm making the best of what's left.

Appreciate your worm words @mstimc60 thank you!

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

Also sending you lots of love @Fullhealing .

You deserve a break. It will come and i truly hope sooner than later.

I am totally exhausted from my trip and out of my routine. Huge challenges ongoing.

Lots of love to you xxx

Thank you dear @Tracey

Let us know how you are doing when you up to it.

Much love back xxxx