1 minute ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

This sums it up B. The truth of your core self. No one, especially no drug, can every take that away from you! Warrior on.

Ditto @HopePerseveres2.0@mars

15 minutes ago, Chippy said:

No not at all Jen. Cycling is the gate way drug! Love it too. You’re welcome in the gang! You might have to set off a couple of days before us but we’ll see you at the cafe for a tea! Xxx ☕️ 🏍️ 💨 🚲 

Gate way drug, Hahaha! I'm with @namastejen1,I always loved my 10 speed bike! If I tried any bike right now with this dizziness I would land in the hospital. And be told "anxiety" caused it...

Morning all, back off my 4am walk, damp underfoot but still dry just. 6c so not cold. So I awoke on a 1

after 4 hours broken sleep, yet another 20 hour day in store🤬 Maybe on a 2 now but still feeling very

low and flat. When everything is disintegrating around you it's hard to feel any optimism, so everything 

bleak at the moment.

 

The way this PWD just keeps dragging on makes it impossible to plan anything concrete for the future.

At the moment the future doesn't exist, just a grey dull monotonous stretch of living hell, not appetizing

for any living form. So still plodding and still in the grip of the wave from hell, some of us certainly draw

the short straw in this horrendous scenario. ALL from a bloody sleeping pill.

Sorry for the negative rant, but it is as is.

Take care all,           B.🤞

Morning

 

Wish these resets would soften some more for you. You are seeing progress. The car hasn’t helped matters has it. So frustrating to keep having to fix something and it keeps playing up, and that’s in normal life but in pwd. Well it’s just not good no way to sugar coat it. But sorted is what will happen with the car. You’re the important thing here! And you will have a future that’s more than grey and full of hope and joy. It will come.   
 

 

14 minutes ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

You have been the most inspirational person on this site with what you have been through. 

Thanks @HopePerseveres2.0 very much appreciated. Just hard for it to sink into a wave condensed

brain, nothing but catastrophizing and pessimism at the moment, the wave is strongly in the driving

seat. All I can do is keep plodding and HOPE for the best. I sincerely hope you are doing a LOT better than me.🤞

Take care and God Bless,          B.😺🤞 

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

You’re the important thing here! And you will have a future that’s more than grey and full of hope and joy. It will come.   

Thanks @Chippy appreciated mate, Only TIME will tell on that one.🤞

Take care,         B.

9 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Just hard for it to sink into a wave condensed

brain, nothing but catastrophizing and pessimism at the moment, the wave is strongly in the driving

seat. All I can do is keep plodding and HOPE for the best

Totally understand @NT1100B. In that black cloud wave no one is asking you to be positive right now. Just survive. That's what is so admirable and inspiring about you. You are doing it.

 

I have been going to quite a few groups, where I can now visually see the change in people ahead of me. People who went through brutal months of black clouds and can see the other side now. You will too. You really will.

13 minutes ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

People who went through brutal months of black clouds and can see the other side now. You will too. You really will.

Thanks @HopePerseveres2.0 for the optimism and foresight Hope, my fingers and legs are crossed.

Take care,         B.🤞😺

19 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

my fingers and legs are crossed

@NT1100B, so are my eyes when I have head pressure symptoms! I'll keep my eyes crossed too that you'll get that 11AM lift to a 5 or 6. 😵‍💫🤞You got this.

 

15 hours ago, NT1100B said:

But if it's sold, then I recover and get another job, I would get a Tracer 9 GT+

Morning B @NT1100B - How's it going today? I love the Tracer 9 GT+, I was also eyeing that up before getting the MT but decided to grab another sports machine before I went over to the tourers, I am interested in doing a few long trips so maybe, if this is all over one day... 

 

3 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

ack on the road again with the wind in your hair and the sun in your faces! 🌞🏍

@HopePerseveres2.0 - I really hope this will be the case, maybe all 3 of us can meet up for a ride once we're back on our feet! 

 

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

You had some quick bikes

Indeed @Chippy, I do love a bit of adrenaline. Not sure how well that's going to fair with my nervous system recalibrating itself at the moment, maybe I get myself something a bit slower for when I am back out. Look forward to seeing you on the road one day mate, I'll be wheeling alongside you..

5 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Not sure how well that's going to fair with my nervous system recalibrating itself at the moment,

No maybe get a Bonnie of the minute mate! 🫣

 

5 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I get myself something a bit slower for when I am back out.

I was thinking of an Mt07 for this reason. Heard good things about it. 

 

6 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Look forward to seeing you on the road one day mate, I'll be wheeling alongside you..

probably passed me rather than next to me, the way Ill end up riding when I get back on! Think my clean chicken strip days are beyond me now! More of a plodder perhaps. Do miss the spirited riding though always felt good. Its quite a buzz

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I was thinking of an Mt07 for this reason. Heard good things about it. 

 

You could probably get yourself the tracer7 in that case mate, bit slower but more chilled and relaxing than the MT positioning. 

 

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Think my clean chicken strip days are beyond me now!

Ha! Nonsense @Chippy, we'll get rid of them in no time mate!

Just now, The_Taper_Man said:

You could probably get yourself the tracer7 in that case mate, bit slower but more chilled and relaxing than the MT positioning. 

 

I had been thinking this, depends if you want a little spirited ride or more legs, but yeah a tracer might be a good compromise.

 

Just now, The_Taper_Man said:

Ha! Nonsense @Chippy, we'll get rid of them in no time mate!

probably, I tell myself Id be more cautious but I would worry them bends would be calling me! 😆

Hi all, well another very miserable day, dropped back to a 0 in the morning and lifted to a 1 after mi-day,

but basically a living hell throughout. So the monster wave still alive and kicking and got a very firm grip

again. So been housebound grounded all day, and it's only going to get worse come the small hours. SO

definitely zero improvement yet, not easy conducting things in a state like this, very bad indeed.🤬

Take care all,         B.

1 minute ago, NT1100B said:

Hi all, well another very miserable day, dropped back to a 0 in the morning and lifted to a 1 after mi-day,

but basically a living hell throughout. So the monster wave still alive and kicking and got a very firm grip

again. So been housebound grounded all day, and it's only going to get worse come the small hours. SO

definitely zero improvement yet, not easy conducting things in a state like this, very bad indeed.🤬

Take care all,         B.

So sorry to hear this B

Take care, sending love xx

Dear B., whay this suffering for us? What have we done wrong? What a hellish  ordeal... How it is possible that the horrendous psychiatry doesn't speak about the damned withdrawal caused by these poisoned pills?!?!?! It is a crime against the patients. I am so angry, sorry...

Svetla

11 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

So sorry to hear this B

Take care, sending love xx

Thanks @Sminismoni Very much appreciated, apologies for the foul  🐓wave mood I am in.🤬

Take care and sending you best wishes.        B.🤞

7 minutes ago, skamen said:

What have we done wrong? What a hellish  ordeal...

Hi @skamen I don't know, have we been evil in a past life, upset the Gods? I don't know indeed, I am

praying for you Svetla and everyone else in this horrendous living hell endless and wave limitless nightmare.

WE truly are in HELL, I don't think anything worse could be invented than these psych drug POISONS.

Derived from the DEVIL himself. Keep plodding though Svetla, we CAN'T ALLOW ourselves to be beaten.

Take great care,          B.🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷

You got this b your a strong a man, Im praying for your extended window to appear soon 

 

❤️👊👌

45 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Sminismoni Very much appreciated, apologies for the foul  🐓wave mood I am in.🤬

Take care and sending you best wishes.        B.🤞

NEVER apologise for complaining or being in a foul mood B. Firstly, this hell demands too much from us already, without expecting "good behaviour". And secondly, all my therapist training has taught me that emotions not expressed build up and contribute to physical health issues. The last thing we need is to compohnd our agony due to stufled feelings. Expressing it in a safe place like this is healthy.

16 hours ago, Chippy said:

1000% Jen xxxx

 

No not at all Jen. Cycling is the gate way drug! Love it too. You’re welcome in the gang! You might have to set off a couple of days before us but we’ll see you at the cafe for a tea! Xxx ☕️ 🏍️ 💨 🚲 

Yeah, I won't get places as quickly...lol. Tea sounds lovely! @HopePerseveres2.0 will join us too? Who else? All are welcome.

 

@NT1100B yes, let it out, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Remember to shift to a positive about it or something entirely different--this will help with that pendulation I mentioned earlier. The swinging back and forth between negative and positive or overactive and calm. It is better to shift than stay too long in any negative emotion, where contentment is the goal. You will swing back up...I will wait for that announcement from you shortly ☺️

Edited February 11Feb 11 by namastejen1

8 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

The last thing we need is to compohnd our agony due to stufled feelings. Expressing it in a safe place like this is healthy.

Thanks @Sminismoni very much appreciated, I shall carry on the rant then, awake after 4hours broken sleep

2.50am and sick and tyred of not been able to sleep properly for over a year. Awakening in terror and from midnight

awake on is the worst most horrible part of the 20 hour + days. A living nightmare, well, fast becoming NOT worth living.

NO end in sight and wave depressing beyond belief. I hope you are doing OK.🤞

Take care,         B.🤞

Morning all, awake at midnight again after 4 hours broken sleep, totally p****d off with life at the moment

everything turning to trash, this insomnia now into the second year with zero improvement, just runs you

into the ground, with the horrible terror awakenings, with any attempt to get back to sleep resulting in even

worse terror in the space of minutes.

 

So yes here I am in my twilight years typing at 3am in the cold darkness, reduced to a shadow of my former 

self by a poisonous drug given for sleep. An outrage....they DON'T even know the horrendous damage they 

do. HOW can it even be legal. Big pharma and Doctors are without moral conscience DESTROYING peoples

LIVES.

 

So I am on a 0 now and feeling crap as is now almost normal, well yes, I feel more like this now than anything

else, SO survival is ALL it is. Torture 24/7, yes I may have had slight lifts, but only ever briefly apart from one

longer window last year. But the waves are back with a vengeance on a whole new more ferocious level, much

longer and much more severe. So certainly NOTHING to get positive about YET, and that's a dramatic understatement.

Take care all,       B. 

27 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, awake at midnight again after 4 hours broken sleep, totally p****d off with life at the moment

everything turning to trash, this insomnia now into the second year with zero improvement, just runs you

into the ground, with the horrible terror awakenings, with any attempt to get back to sleep resulting in even

worse terror in the space of minutes.

Morning mate

 

Im so sorry my friend. I feel for you. I really do. Poor sleep is the worst isn’t it. And for what ever reason the last thing to resolve in all this. Frustrating as you’ve said before you’d think the body would prioritise it!

 

29 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

So yes here I am in my twilight years typing at 3am in the cold darkness, reduced to a shadow of my former 

self by a poisonous drug given for sleep. An outrage....they DON'T even know the horrendous damage they 

do. HOW can it even be legal. Big pharma and Doctors are without moral conscience DESTROYING peoples

LIVES.

I can’t disagree mate. The destruction is clear isn’t it. I see it in myself. Healing happens but the speed is well torture. We will all kick this and get our lives back eventually!

 

31 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

So I am on a 0 now and feeling crap as is now almost normal, well yes, I feel more like this now than anything

else, SO survival is ALL it is. Torture 24/7, yes I may have had slight lifts, but only ever briefly apart from one

longer window last year. But the waves are back with a vengeance on a whole new more ferocious level, much

longer and much more severe. So certainly NOTHING to get positive about YET, and that's a dramatic understatement.

Take care all,       B. 

I hope you lift a bit today bud. It’s not fair what you have to endure. I wish I could take it from you!!!! Here for you my friend. 👊

 

Chippy

37 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I hope you lift a bit today bud. It’s not fair what you have to endure. I wish I could take it from you!!!! Here for you my friend. 👊

 

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy very much appreciated, we continue to endure.🤞

Take care,        B.