1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

How you keeping? I hope you are feeling better.

Awww..thanks for thinking of me when you are struggling. Since my new batch of drugs, I am doing better. My generic company has so man6 violation s9 it’s no surprise to think a batch could be subpar. 
 

 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks VERY much for this, a guy

in desperation will try anything,

I’ve dragged my feet on trying EFT.  Specifically because the talking in the videos annoys me to no end. This one was tolerable and I found some benefit…whether it’s legit or placebo, I don’t care as long as it helps. 
 

 

22 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Car out of action, motorbike soon to be gone, zero chance of work yet. NO it looks GRIM.

All I can do is keep plodding.

It’s pouring down on you now but that rainbow is going to come and it is going to be glorious. ☂️☂️☂️🌈🌈🌈🌟🌟🌟
 

 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Take it slow and easy LIC, we eventually will reach that peace and tranquility

💯🙏👍

 

50 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

It’s pouring down on you now but that rainbow is going to come and it is going to be glorious. ☂️☂️☂️🌈🌈🌈🌟🌟🌟
 

Thanks @LostinCanada that means a lot. My wave mind can't see that rainbow yet , but last nights clearer

mind could. Weird isn't it?  So yes glad you are on the better meds now and lifting🤞I am wishing you all the

best LIC, take it slow and easy.

Take care,         B.🙏🤞🌷

Hi again, back off my walk, 3c with a stiff NE wind this morning making it feel cool. A painful big toe

for the last few days, so a bit slower. So still on a 2 and feeling flat, not catastrophizing as much so that's

something, things will be what they will be. Just maybe wishing we had maybe taken the car up to the

main dealer, rather than the local independent one. The main dealer has the brand specific specialist equipment.

it's maybe impossible to fix without, but 50 miles away.  Time will tell. 

 

So yes it's just keep plodding and to hell with it, we have enough on our plate navigating through this s**t  to

start getting overwhelmed with anything else. A guy can't do a lot on 3 hours sleep, but I keep plodding, don't

know how, but onwards I plod.

Take care all,      B.🤞  

 

 

Morning mate

 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Getting better at this moment in time seems quite the impossible, I just know this is going to take

a vast amount more time.

I’m so sorry mate. Yes I recognise this feeling. Like it’s permanent. I can tell you from experience now that what was once seemingly never ending can change dramatically out of the blue in all this. 
 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Prior to that I had been still OK, but as it struck, all yesterdays and 10 minutes earlier positive thoughts

had GONE. Just like that. Now getting out of bed and pacing for 10 minutes then onto the laptop, I have

awakened proper and lifted out of it a bit, maybe on a 2 now. 

I’d love to know what crazy mechanics causes this sleep reset that plagued everyone. I’m so glad you pulled out a bit. You do seem to do this now. It’s good. Body’s fighting back. Signs of change. 
 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

So yes, that's that, but proves to me nothing good is happening yet, and this year is probably going to be even

worse than last year, it's certainly worse at the moment, zero money coming in, I was still on full sick pay from

work last year. Car out of action, motorbike soon to be gone, zero chance of work yet. NO it looks GRIM.

All I can do is keep plodding.

Take care,       B.🤞

It’s still early doors yet mate. I’m thinking the cars gonna be sorted soon and a weight of your mind. These things are just material stuff. You are all that matters. Things can be fixed and sold re bought as life allows but your health is all that is important here. Just these stressors aren’t what you need right now. 
 

It’s gonna be ok mate.Something always comes up. A wise man called B told me this once. 
 

Chippy

28 minutes ago, Chippy said:

It’s gonna be ok mate.Something always comes up. A wise man called B told me this once. 
 

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy that gave me a chuckle🤣

Yes you are right, wave mind plays havoc with the mind.

Take care,         B.🤞

4 hours ago, NT1100B said:

So yes it's just keep plodding and to hell with it, we have enough on our plate navigating through this s**t  to

start getting overwhelmed with anything else.

 

That's the thing, isn't it?

 

In withdrawal we have obsessive, negative, looping thoughts about all sorts of things. They're often pretty valid, I know that mine very much are.

 

However, all of it is secondary to taking care of yourself and surviving long enough to recover. That's the brutal truth really.

@NT1100B

 

have you applied for pip mate? 
 

 

Dear B., our suffering is enormous. I am so sorry for us.

Broken sleep, cortisol spikes all the night, morning terror, hopeless, hellish anhedonia... Hell in my month 12. 

Hope and patience.

Svetla

Edited February 13Feb 13 by skamen

7 hours ago, Luke said:

However, all of it is secondary to taking care of yourself and surviving long enough to recover. That's the brutal truth really.

Hi @Luke Very good point mate, NOTHING has any real consequence when we are in a PWD hopeless

state, incapable of anything normal and purposeful. HEALTH COMES FIRST. Cheers Luke well pointed out.

I hope you are doing a bit better Bud.

Take care,            B.🙏🤞 

5 hours ago, Richie said:

have you applied for pip mate?

Hi @Richie I did an assessment test, not enough points, so appealed, lost that and so that's that.

I am still signed off until 3rd March. No one believes US, nothing f*****g  FAKE about this living hell.!!!!!!

I hope you are doing OK Richie, take it easy Bud.

Take care,          B.🤞🙏👍

4 hours ago, skamen said:

Hope and patience.

Svetla

Hi @skamen Yes a living hell, without a shadow of doubt. I am very sorry to hear of your continuing living hell

Svetla, my heart goes out to you, it really does. HOPE & PATIENCE are the ones, you have hit the nail on the head

with those 2 words.  Taking it SLOW is another one. WE all stick together we WILL WIN. TIME is the one.

Take great care, and please stay safe.       B.🙏🙏🙏🌷

Hi all, well I don't know how, but a bit more mentally calmer day today. Gradually lifted a bit, up to a 3

this morning and very slowly lifted to a 5 now. BUT worn out, only 3 hours broken sleep last night. Now

if you say the average sleep is 8 hours a night, I have already lost 1450 hours sleep since stopping MIRT

 

So yes it's GOT to have a detrimental affect on our health has that alone, so yes how much longer this is

going to go on, no one knows, it might be another year....very testing, but, I have survived the last one so

it would obviously not kill me. Mind you, I am noticing now, I am missing a lot of keys typing I have to correct.

I thing that might have something to do with lack of sleep.🤔 So it's accept and keep plodding for me.

Take care all,           B.🤞

 

49 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Hi @Richie I did an assessment test, not enough points, so appealed, lost that and so that's that.

I am still signed off until 3rd March. No one believes US, nothing f*****g  FAKE about this living hell.!!!!!!

I hope you are doing OK Richie, take it easy Bud.

Take care,          B.🤞🙏👍

Hi @NT1100B Im ok quite down today trying to fight of the hopelessness. Anhedonia is killing me.

get the form again and get ChatGPT to help you fill it out you should be able to score higher that way.

 

 

8 hours ago, Richie said:

get the form again and get ChatGPT to help you fill it out you should be able to score higher that way.

 

Thanks @Richie appreciated mate, I will see how things pan out, incapable of even meeting people at 

the moment, I will see what happens.  (PWD)

Take care Bud and thanks.       B.🤞

Morning all, well awake before midnight again with 3 hours broken sleep, worse than it was now,

so I just don't know what to make of it now. Crazy. So yes did my shopping online and that get's 

delivered 12.30-1 .30pm today. So already almost a week since my car packed in. NO word yet!

 

So yes everything  is on the grim side at the moment, temperatures are below freezing so more gas

and electric being used which is even MORE expense, UK biggest energy rip off on the planet.

So yes 2.20am now I will go for a walk shortly, NO chance of any more sleep now.

 

This is what these so called experts who don't believe our med injury should be seeing... the hell we go

through, just to survive. Crazy stuff, and this is into month 14 off the drug. So anyway it's just keep on

plodding, on a 1 at the moment so I will see how the day pans out. Catch you later.

Take care,       B.

I hope you feel refreshed after your walk B! Maybe you can settle and catch a little more sleep or at least rest. I am about to call it a night over here but wanted to check in on you. 

Peace, my friend and I will be praying for you and the rest on here. 🤗

2 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, well awake before midnight again with 3 hours broken sleep, worse than it was now,

so I just don't know what to make of it now. Crazy. So yes did my shopping online and that get's 

delivered 12.30-1 .30pm today. So already almost a week since my car packed in. NO word yet!

Morning mate. Hell B this wave is a tricky sob isn’t it!!!! 😡

You’re incredible coping with all this. Such a real show of strength and character. Many would not cope as you do. 
Good old home delivery. Bit of a lifesaver that one. 
Nightmare about the car. It’s just all hit you at once hasn’t it!!!!

2 hours ago, NT1100B said:

temperatures are below freezing so more gas

and electric being used which is even MORE expense, UK biggest energy rip off on the planet.

So yes 2.20am now I will go for a walk shortly, NO chance of any more sleep now.

Yes a second cold snaps on us. Soon be March and those temps will be rising. Be glad of it myself. Time to say goodbye to winter now. 
 

2 hours ago, NT1100B said:

This is what these so called experts who don't believe our med injury should be seeing... the hell we go

through, just to survive. Crazy stuff, and this is into month 14 off the drug. So anyway it's just keep on

plodding, on a 1 at the moment so I will see how the day pans out. Catch you later.

Take care,       B.

These guys are chocolate teapots mate. 
 

I hope your day lifts very very soon my friend. 
 

Keep up the good fight B. Your incredible my friend. 

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

hope your day lifts very very soon my friend. 
 

Keep up the good fight B. Your incredible my friend. 

Thanks @Chippy It will be what it will be, I have stopped expecting any change, I just have to survive

minute to minute and hour to hour as best I can. Motorbike, I am unsure. I might see if I can book an MOT

Monday. If car CANNOT be fixed, I will be stuck if bike has gone. Loosing money on it, and getting it MOTd

gives me a bit more space. WAVE thinking at the minute, which is unclear. What a nightmare!

Take care,      B.🤞

2 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

What a nightmare!

It’s not good mate. But it will pan out and your wave thinking is making all this worse for sure. If you can get it motd it will make worth more as you say. Just need that car sorted don’t you….. frustrating 

16 minutes ago, Chippy said:

If you can get it motd it will make worth more as you say. Just need that car sorted don’t you….. frustrating 

Thanks @Chippy yes it won't actually make the bike worth more money, but if I keep it, the

end of the month is the deadline, will need booking in Monday latest. So yes wave mind is distorting

my thinking, but a cars computer electrical gremlins can sometimes ONLY be fixed by main dealer.

Brand specialist equipment. They do this on purpose. But BSI units can be cloned, seen them online.

So if I can access this info.....so can mechanic....so I hope it's just PWD catastrophizing. Problems 

I could have WELL DONE WITHOUT.          ps. only 1 MOT place for motorbikes local, next 20 miles away.

Take care,      B.🤞 

45 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

So yes wave mind is distorting

my thinking, but a cars computer electrical gremlins can sometimes ONLY be fixed by main dealer.

Brand specialist equipment. They do this on purpose. But BSI units can be cloned, seen them online.

So if I can access this info.....so can mechanic....so I hope it's just PWD catastrophizing. Problems 

I could have WELL DONE WITHOUT.          ps. only 1 MOT place for motorbikes local, next 20 miles

This is the trouble with these modern electrics isn’t it. Gotta be a NASA tech to work on the things and have fancy computers to go with that! 

 

Argh no that makes things worse doesn’t it. One down side to living somewhere beautiful 

Hi all, well similar to yesterday as in gradually lifting, a bit of anxiety waiting of groceries being

delivered 1pm he landed half way though my hour slot. I hate waiting of things, which is silly as

I had nothing else planned, just pwd irritated I guess. So 10 minute job and packed away, but I

think I prefer getting it myself....BLOODY CAR!

 

So yes with that out of the way I lifted a bit more, 5 again roughly and wave symptoms minimal.

So yes the mind is a lot clearer like this. But again like yesterday with just 3 hours sleep I am getting

tired  and weary now, typing at a snails pace. I really would love to sleep 12 hours....But NO CHANCE

of that happening.

 

That's the weird part, 3-4 hours.....then it really is impossible to get any more. Any dozing after that

amount, throws me into horrific negative dark thoughts.....sleep game over. So yes however tired  it

just makes no odds. Oh well it's back to the gentle plodding, see what terrors tonight brings.🤔

Take care all,        B. 

Hi B. How do you deal with the aloneness of this misery? When I wake up in the dark & quiet of night in an empty house feelng miserable it can be overwhelmingly foreboding. There’s no way “normal” people can relate to what this is like. Even when describe it to friends or family I know they just can’t/don’t get it. The loneliness of it all eats at me 😢

On 2/11/2026 at 1:10 PM, Sminismoni said:

On 2/11/2026 at 12:22 PM, NT1100B said:

B.🤞

NEVER apologise for complaining or being in a foul mood B. Firstly, this hell demands too much from us already, without expecting "good behaviour". And secondly, all my therapist training has taught me that emotions not expressed build up and contribute to physical health issues. The last thing we need is to

Amen. Thank you for this. We need a place to vent. And everyone I've seen does so respectfully.  So...vent away!

@Pokey449.  Ah, loneliness.  The bane of my existence.  

 

In the shower I was wondering to myself if anyone would be interested in a Zoom call. I'd be willing to host...but not sure I have the Brain clarity to facilitate! Lol

 

Perhaps @Luke. And @Chippy can comment on past attempts to connect beyond the forum.

 

But the loneliness,  disability,  and isolation are real and not ideal. 

 

I feel fortunate in that I'm an introvert who loves to read.

 

So thank you for your honesty