11 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hope you lift some more mate. 
 

Keep plodding my friend. 

Thanks @Chippy Appreciated mate, it will be what it will be, zero optimism at the moment.

Take care,          B.

4 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy Appreciated mate, it will be what it will be, zero optimism at the moment.

Take care,          B.

You too mate 

Hi Mr. B. Early in the morning over there, and of course you're already awake. Sigh. I was really proud of you for being able to sell your bike. Like you said, you hadn't bonded with it, and it seemed to be weighing on you. One less thing to clutter your mind. 

I continue to pray for quick and complete healing for you. You honestly never know, but I've been heartened by the small improvements you've seen as of late. This is one dinger of a wave. You are showing all of us how to manage with grace, perseverance and courage. So glad to know you!

xxoo Jamie

Well back off my morning walk, awake since 23.30 last night, can't get in a much worse state of affairs

as that, pure survival, that's all it is, last 2 days not bad Wednesday the best, but days like that are so

fleeting and far apart. 20-21 hour days are a killer, especially if it's in a vicious wave. Now in the 14th

month off, and sleep NOT one bit better. So yes very demoralising in every way.

 

So yes what an atrocious medication Mirt has been for sleep, the bloody stuff makes certain you will 

never sleep properly ever again. Now I am still on a 2 but to me this seems like wave thinking, but this

is the horrors we are going through, every second, minute, hour and day. Oh well onwards I aimlessly

at the minute plod, with a feeling the world is collapsing around me. Chin up B, another day nearer.

Take care,       B. 

 

 

3 minutes ago, gardengirl2 said:

You are showing all of us how to manage with grace, perseverance and courage. So glad to know you!

xxoo Jamie

Thanks @gardengirl2 I have been awake since 23.30 last night after 3 hours sleep. On a 2 but I 

feel I might be dropping back into the wave from hell, feeling very negative this morning. I sincerely

hope you are doing OK🤞Here's wishing you all the best Jamie, please stay strong and safe.

Take care,        B.🙏🙏🌷 

On 2/18/2026 at 12:15 AM, Luke said:

Before experiencing this, I let things get to me, worry me, stressed about them, became frustrated etc. Now, none of it matters at all, other than health and wellbeing. I believe that you will recover, and all of the other stuff is just life. W

Hi @NT1100B, wow I had alot of catchup on your page to do! I am so sorry about motorbike.😪 But you did the right thing by you.  I agree with @Luke, your health and well-being are first and foremost. Everything else will sort out and fall in place. Even the finances. Not sure how it is in the UK, are you able to take an early retirement? You will recover, please just concentrate on that first. You had some good lifts recently. They will happen again.❤️‍🩹❤️

8 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Chin up B, another day nearer.

That’s it mate. You are one day closer. Your sleep will improve just takes such a long time. Maybe the worse bit. Hoping you lift shortly bud. 

B, I just watched this video (I speeded it up; 26 minutes) and found it really uplifting. Especially these words from the transcript:

Am I screwed? So like, your mind, your mind will just recycle all and like revisit all of those things. My husband would call it my mind going to the garbage of like all of these tormenting, like agony about how I can't heal or it won't work out or I can't recover.
Something's particularly worse or wrong with me that I'll never get there. None of those things are true 'cause like. Okay. Your brain is made in an incredible way. It is. It is built for resilience. And, and that's, that's the stolen truth that we, that's been stolen from us in all of this medicating, is that, that that reality, that our brains and our bodies are just so incredibly resilient and, and built for overcoming, built for, for conquering hard and, and, and tremendously challenging. Experiences and events, and so I encourage you with that, like whatever, whatever are the evidences rolling through your head of why you are not gonna get through this. Your body is built for resilience and your body is working toward homeostasis. That is why you have the symptoms, even the mental symptoms. Is your body working towards homeostasis? That is what it is headed for. That is what is wired for and that's where it's headed. The meds have interrupted that for a long time, and it's not happening anymore. If you're going through the withdrawals, you're getting free and you body is doing that healing work and getting to that place of healing.

 

Update after almost 2.5 years off psych meds

 

I hope you can take a few minutes to watch this. Keep fighting the good fight.

1 hour ago, gardengirl2 said:

healing work and getting to that place of healing.

Thanks @gardengirl2 brilliant that, yes as I thought, we can't SEE the fantastic life coming, from the

depths of a wave and wave thinking. WE keep plodding, recovery will be ours.

Thanks and take care,        B.🙏🤞🌷

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hoping you lift shortly bud. 

Sorry @Chippy dropped back to 0, very nasty wave again, the 3 hours sleep was the indicator.

Living hell yet again.

Take care,       B.

2 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

Not sure how it is in the UK, are you able to take an early retirement?

Hi @HopePerseveres2.0 No, 13 month off retirement, I have a small private pension I could cash in

but it's growing faster than my other funds, so it would not pay to cash in early. I have dropped back

to a 0 now so back in the wave from hell, so it's plodding very gently. I will muddle through it one way

or another. Windows are very very brief so a long long journey ahead of me yet.  

Take care,        B.😺🤞

5 hours ago, NT1100B said:

20-21 hour days are a killer, especially if it's in a vicious wave. Now in the 14th

month off, and sleep NOT one bit better.

 

I was in this place for a long, long time.

 

Extra long days from waking up ludicrously early, which is really rough when all day you just want it to be over because you are suffering. It can and likely will change in time, but as you know, it can be a lot of time.

 

However, I absolutely relate to this and it is horrendous. There aren't really words I can use to describe it, I know what it's like, and you do too because you're in it.

 

I hope that by the time you hit state pension age (I'm guessing this is what you mean by 13 months from retirement?), that you're doing a lot better and a range of options open up for you.

7 hours ago, Luke said:

There aren't really words I can use to describe it, I know what it's like, and you do too because you're in it.

Thanks @Luke, yes you are 100% right there mate, LIVING HELL covers it for me.

I hope you are doing better Bud, wishing you all the best.

Take care,        B.🤞

Hi folks, well dropped to a 0 from early morning and have been there all day, unbelievable how it

continues keeping a strong hold on us, I cannot see me ever getting back to work before retirement.

As soon as my mental state allows I will be in touch with the doctor again and explain I need a better

sick note so I can appeal again, I can't live on fresh air. They are non the wiser until they are told.

 

So yes another living hell day, 2 decent days this week, then back to the horror, one hell of a journey,

but it is what it is, and we just have to accept and keep plodding. WE will get there in the end.🤞

Take care all,        B.🤞

22 hours ago, Its-me-Rosie said:

HopePerseveres2.0what she might be giving up and she very thoughtfully reminded me that we’ve given up a heck of a lot this past year. I don’t even eat choccy anymore so can’t even give that one up!! 

I had to sign back on to reply to you on this and laugh at this still @Its-me-Rosie. Seriously, what more do we have to give up when our whole lives were taken along with serotonin and dopamine depletion? I'm hanging on to chocolate as it’s one of the few things in moderation I can handle! Bring on the dark chocolate Easter bunnies and hot fudge chocolate chip sundaes...🐇🍨 . Oh, I just noticed you replied with this comment on B's page, so in his case bring on the cheddar crackers! 😁🦜

Hi @NT1100B I was scrolling on SA the other day and I came across a post where they was talking about protracted withdrawal on the nhs, I know it’s hard convincing them but there is actually a code for it now it is 1285639002 on the snowed system it is recognised but apparently you have to proper push for it. I can’t post the photo as it is to large. 

Edited February 20Feb 20 by Richie

Oh, dear B., I am so sorry for you. Indeed, living hell, sheer ordeal, nothing less. I feel you verry well, we are in the same boat... Let's encourage each other, don't allow the hellish psychiatry to win,

Svetla

9 hours ago, Richie said:

I know it’s hard convincing them but there is actually a code for it now it is 1285639002 on the snowed system it is recognised but apparently you have to proper push for it. I can’t post the photo as it is to large. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Richie

Thanks @Richie Yes mate I think Chippy gave me details of the same, so as soon as my mental health allows

I will have it out with the doc. The assessors who do said job have NOT got a clue. USELESS.

I hope you are doing better Richie, stay strong mate and stay safe.

Take care,      B.🤞 

6 hours ago, skamen said:

Let's encourage each other, don't allow the hellish psychiatry to win,

Svetla

Thanks @skamen Very much appreciated, yes we have to encourage each other to get out of this hellhole,

like you say we are NOT living at the moment, we are just in horrific survival mode, and it's no fun. BUT we will

SUCCEED Svetla, that you can be SURE, what others have done, then so shall WE. Please stay strong.

Take care,        B.🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷

Morning all, back off my 3.30am walk, no energy this morning and feeling very flat and dejected again.

So I awoke on a 0 in a horrible state after 4 hours broken sleep (the norm now) with the loathsome horrible

feeling I hate. I think that detested feeling has gone now but still on a 0 with catastrophizing thoughts and

negativity.

 

So yes wave still very much in control, where it was hiding Wednesday Thursday who knows, but it hasn't

been far away, and back with a vengeance now. But whatever....I just have to accept and keep plodding. But

2026 is already feeling way worse than last year, in every which way. So certainly NO light at the end of the 

tunnel YET.

Take care all,       B.

9 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, back off my 3.30am walk, no energy this morning and feeling very flat and dejected again.

So I awoke on a 0 in a horrible state after 4 hours broken sleep (the norm now) with the loathsome horrible

feeling I hate. I think that detested feeling has gone now but still on a 0 with catastrophizing thoughts and

negativity.

Morning B

Im very sorry mate. One day I won’t say that I promise. I’ll say THIS IS GREAT NEWS MATE YOU DID IT!!!! 
 

But for now you have to keep doing the incredible job you are of riding these massive waves. Wednesday & Thursday a little dirty window for you but they won’t be your last. Just the hideous nature of the healing profile. 😞 

 

9 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

But whatever....I just have to accept and keep plodding. But

2026 is already feeling way worse than last year, in every which way. So certainly NO light at the end of the 

tunnel YET.

Your strength as resilient as ever. Keep on plodding bud. It will come for you the healing as you know. 
 

Chippy

1 minute ago, Chippy said:

Your strength as resilient as ever. Keep on plodding bud. It will come for you the healing as you know. 
 

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy appreciated mate, not sure about the strength though, I feel as strong as a day old kitten.

Take care,       B.

5 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy appreciated mate, not sure about the strength though, I feel as strong as a day old kitten.

Take care,       B.

That day old kitten is going to grow into a strong mouse hunting cat!

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

That day old kitten is going to grow into a strong mouse hunting cat!

Well @Chippy The sooner the better mate.     B.

Hi all, well another mediocre miserable day, have lifted to a 1 but feeling flat and dejected all day,

I haven't even had the energy to chase the garage up about the status of my car, on whether they can 

complete the job. Leaving it to next week now. Bad luck with the damned thing, I could have done

without problems like that with nasty PWD as well.

 

So yes looking at options on the internet, none good really, I am just hoping it doesn't come to that.

Next week I will find out for sure, but with the car immobilized if NOT fixed, it ain't going to be easy.

So yes subconsciously that isn't helping especially in a wave, but all I can do is keep plodding and

hope somehow things get worked out. AS if PWD off MIRT isn't bad enough.🤬

Take care all,        B.