Thinking of you in your lonely and cruel struggle B. You seem to post around the time I jump on the forum, which i know for you is the very early hours of the morning. 

 

Do the meditation things help? They were all I had in the wee hours,  alone and so desperate with insomnia. I could only listen to few teachers with the volume low and not look at the screen. I learnt to self soothe by putting my hand on my heart and one on my belly or cross both hands on my upper chest. Or hold by face with two hands. 

 

Like @Nemina I am not wanting to make too many suggestions as I know how that can feel when you are in such a state. 

 

Starving yourself is a bit concerning to me, but I totally get the dreadful feeling after eating than can occur in PWD. 

 

Have you got anyone real there to talk with or help? 

56 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Have you got anyone real there to talk with or help? 

Hi @Tracey and thanks, no I am on my own, but when in this horrible state it's how I prefer it.

Solitude is my sanctuary. I just have to be on my own as I cannot face other people like this.

I am back on a -o this morning now after my 1.30am walk, I thought I could maybe get more

sleep, but NO chance. I hope you are doing ok Tracey, here's wishing you all the best.

Take care,      B.🙏

Well I am back off a 1.30am walk and feeling even worse, I thought I would maybe get more sleep,

but no chance of that. This is unreal how I just keep getting worse and worse. NOT GOOD.

Take care,        B.

Not good at all, Mr. B. I'm wrapping an imaginary blanket around you and sending a big hug your way. We can just sit quietly. ❣️🌻

1 minute ago, gardengirl2 said:

Not good at all, Mr. B. I'm wrapping an imaginary blanket around you and sending a big hug your way. We can just sit quietly. ❣️🌻

Thanks @gardengirl2 you are SO kind, I am at my wits end. Even WORSE than last year????

Take great care and God Bless,         B.🙏💙      

No one can blame you for being at your wit's end. You have truly endured cruel and unusual circumstances. Sometimes I wish we could all just gather together, no words, just be together in support. Alas, this is the next best thing. I will continue to keep tabs on you, hoping and praying for your complete healing. 🙏

 

1 minute ago, gardengirl2 said:

hoping and praying for your complete healing. 🙏

 

Bless you @gardengirl2 Jamie you are a Gem.💙

Take care,   B.

3 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, here I am yet again at 1.10am!!!!!!  this is beyond belief at 14 months off, awoke after

3 hours broken sleep, I am GETTING WORSE. I just cannot believe what is going on, we should be

getting gradually better, NOT worse. This is getting beyond even survival.🤬

Take care all,      B.

Morning B

 

Argh mate I can hear the tone shift. You’re really really fed up now aren’t you. And who can blame you! You have suffered soooo much and it just doesn’t want to let go. But it will. The time it’s taking and the energy it’s expecting you to give is too much. I’m a great believer in we are never given more than we can handle. I know you have it in you. You shouldn’t have to handle this but I know you can. 
 

one minute at a time my friend. 
 

Chippy

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Hi @Tracey and thanks, no I am on my own, but when in this horrible state it's how I prefer it.

Solitude is my sanctuary. I just have to be on my own as I cannot face other people like this.

I am back on a -o this morning now after my 1.30am walk, I thought I could maybe get more

sleep, but NO chance. I hope you are doing ok Tracey, here's wishing you all the best.

Take care,      B.🙏

Yeh  get the solitude thing very well 😘

Morning B, well it is here anyway. I feel for you. I can look at my own situation and have an idea of how miserable this is for you. Our friends and family can’t begin to come close to understanding how awful all this can be.  Hope you get some peace and rest today. 

Oh, dear @NT1100B, I can feel you, I understand you perfectly well. I am in the same boat where things worsen instead to go better with the time. 12 months of Hell.

 

Things are better, there is hope - an update from my wife https://benzobuddies.org/topic/289000-things-are-better-there-is-hope-an-update-from-my-wife/

 

Svetla

4 hours ago, Pokey449 said:

Our friends and family can’t begin to come close to understanding how awful all this can be.  Hope you get some peace and rest today. 

Thanks @Pokey449 very much appreciated my good man. No you are right there, I can't even believe

the horror of the poisonous bloody things myself. My heart goes out to you Bud, they are just beyond

belief. Take it very very slow Pokey, because they are way more powerful than even psych docs and docs 

know. Brain damaging torture pills. So yes taper very very cautiously and slow. But we are with you mate, ALL

the way. 

Take care,      B.🤞

❤️🙏I can't even remember or imagine normal.... it's like a dream. 

One more day in the ring. 🥊🥊🥊

3 hours ago, skamen said:

I am in the same boat where things worsen instead to go better with the time. 12 months of Hell.

Thanks @skamen much appreciated, when we closely relate to others, it does lessen the pain.

Your wife is sheer proof that healing is happening as we speak and fantastic to see. Stay strong

Svetla together we will see the back of this lot, and eventually get our lives back on track.

Take great care,        B.🙏🙏🙏🤞

4 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

One more day in the ring. 🥊🥊🥊

Hi @LostinCanada how you keeping? I hope you are doing ok🤞 the thing is it's

so up and down, we never know where we are going to be from one day to the next.

Wishing you all the best though LIC, please stay strong and stay safe.

Take care,         B.🙏🤞💙

Well one hell of a morning this morning, you think things can't get worse and they do just that.

Really didn't want to keep living through that, pure torture, very gradually lifted very slightly

1 hour ago, maybe a 1 now. So another day in living hell. Sorry I have no better news yet.

Keep plodding.

Take care all,      B. 

Just now, NT1100B said:

hope you are doing ok

Hey B, I am doing better but still so fragile...I am terrified to do anything out of the routine for fear I will go down the hole again. Still coping with the gut issues, sleep issues, brain fog but manageable. Praying you get some relief.

I keep thinking about Bedlam...why did we ever trust psychiatry on any level. Grrrrr 

2 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Still coping with the gut issues, sleep issues, brain fog but manageable. Praying you get some relief.

I keep thinking about Bedlam...why did we ever trust psychiatry on any level. Grrrrr 

Very sorry to hear this @LostinCanada My stomach has been horrendous as well, got signed off another

2 months as well even though I am not at work. Proof I aren't a Bum. Doc did prescribe some Opremesole

over the phone not sure whether I will collect. For the stomach. So yes I empathise with you LIC, it sounds

like you are suffering like me. Horrible stuff. WE WILL beat IT LIC......WE WILL

Take great care,       B.🙏🤞💙

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Opremesole

All I can say is don't do it...DGL works better and is recommended when tapering off the PPIs.

This is what I use:

Natural Factors, DGL (Licorice Root Extract), 400mg, High Dose, 90 Vegan Chewable Tablets, Vegetarian, Soy Free, Gluten Free, Non GMO : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care https://share.google/zpT62pyp8McKkaXqL

 1/4 tablet before meals and as needed.

Also I use their ginger tablets.

Natural Factors, Chewable Ginger, 500 mg, 90 Chewable Tablets | eBay UK https://share.google/G3ZUPq5urlYlvcHLy

 

They do have xylitol...I don't know if you are sensitive to that.

 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

got signed off another

2 months as well even though I am not at work

Good.... it's horrible being at the mercy of this situation. 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

WE WILL beat IT LIC......WE WILL

💪💪💪❤️❤️❤️

Talk about brain fog...I forgot to give you the links about DGL. 

 

Coming Off a Proton Pump Inhibitor - Whole Health Library https://share.google/WvSCyh54xMfk5rW5U

 

 

Section 4:2

Natural Products in the Management of Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease: Mechanisms, Efficacy, and Future Directions - PMC https://share.google/dq4WH83jkM8bDgTHV

 

On 2/24/2026 at 5:51 PM, NT1100B said:

But Nemina I am open to

any suggestions of course.

Ok, I have some thoughts indeed. I am afraid this might be a bit longer.    

I had for years the following symptoms (before taking meds, because of trauma): Waking up after about 4 hours sleep with anxiety, feeling my heart pump, etc. and often unable to go back to sleep. Same after a nap. And same after lunch, not always but often. The chemical anxiety was horrible and I felt helpless. So I experimented with food. I found out, that when I ate in a way that would not trigger a srong insuline response I would feel MUCH better after the meal and the following night.   

Years later I found an explanation: (Text now written with the help of AI, English is not my language): The reason is a  a highly stress-reactive nervous system. In stress-sensitive individuals, the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis responds quickly to internal changes. One strong trigger is a rapid drop in blood glucose after a meal (If one eats a high-carbohydrate meal, especially refined carbs, blood glucose may rise quickly and trigger a strong insulin response. Then the glucose level drops rapidly). Even if it does not reach true hypoglycemic levels, the brain may interpret the rapid decline as a threat. In response, the body releases adrenaline and cortisol to raise glucose again. At night, this counter-regulatory response can cause sudden awakening with a feeling of alarm, tension, or a racing heart. Once the sympathetic nervous system is activated, falling back asleep becomes difficult. The goal is therefore metabolic stability and reduced stress activation. Each meal should emphasize protein, healthy fats, and fiber, with moderate amounts of slow-digesting carbohydrates (e.g., lentils, quinoa, vegetables) rather than refined starches or sugar. Combining carbohydrates with protein and fat helps prevent sharp glucose spikes and drops. Some people benefit from a small, protein-rich snack before bed, such as Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, or a handful of nuts, to stabilize overnight glucose levels.

What I personally do and don´t do: 

I never drink fruit juice, or any sweet drink. I never et something sweet or fruit on an empty stomach. Every meal starts with protein,  then vegetables and then the (preferably slow) carbonhydrates . The goal is to keep glucose stable. If You are interested I can get into more detail on how to do this.

OK, I am sorry that this was so long, but it may help you or others who struggle with cortisol spikes. It helped me a lot to find this out.

 

Take care!

Nemina

 

Mr B , 

I'm so wanting you to get a break from this . I hate this for you and all of us . We will all bind  together and get through this . You never know what tomorrow brings , keep plodding we love you 💕

Mr B @NT1100B - I am on a Facebook group specifically for Mirtazapine and one of the things that they swear by is low-histamine related foods, with this drug we tend to get a hugely strong histamine rebound response after we stop because our receptors have been covered and saturated for so long with the drug that new ones are created and thus when removed, you guessed it.. There is a need for the body to regulate its histamine back to normal levels. 

 

With that said, I noted that you spoke recently about feeling negative effects from food right after you have eaten, this raised my eyebrows as I wasn't sure if you were aware of this info? Some people have managed to solve quite a lot of their protracted symptoms just by implementing a low-histamine diet, I use the word 'just' lightly as it is not as easy as it sounds but I have sure seen it help a lot of people with sleep, mood and all kinds of different issues.

 

Here are some links for you to look thru, see if you can start to implement something similar. I am happy to chat thru anything with you if it helps for ideas (I love cooking 🙂).

 

Histamine Food List

 

SIGHI-Leaflet Histamine Elimination Diet

 

Really hope this helps you B, like I said give me a shout whenever you want to. 

 

 

4 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Here are some links for you to look thru, see if you can start to implement something similar. I am happy to chat thru anything with you if it helps for ideas (I love cooking 🙂).

Hi @The_Taper_Man hey thanks loads my good man, I will have a look through, brilliant mate. Yes I have suspected

it for a long time that, Histamine. The thing is it also give me T2D as well with overeating. I could never get FULL.

Put on 8 stone!!!!!!!!!. Trouble is I am pretty clueless with diet. I thought I had cut out a lot of high histamine, BUT

then again, dodging between T2D and high histamine, WHAT'S left to eat???? I will have a GOOD look at the link

you have so kindly sent me TM. I sincerely hope you are doing better now🤞 Cheers and stay close mate. We are with

you ALL the way.

Take great care,        B.🙏🙏🤞😁

5 hours ago, cheeky said:

Mr B , 

I'm so wanting you to get a break from this . I hate this for you and all of us . We will all bind  together and get through this . You never know what tomorrow brings , keep plodding we love you 💕

Awwww thanks @cheeky your beautiful kind warmth is so empowering, the true human bond is there, Bless you.

We really do feel each others pain in our writing, we see the pain or happiness in our words. Now it's 1.50am in the

UK and I awoke after 3 hours in a horrific state, now I am out of bed on the laptop I have miraculously come around😁

 

The change is so dramatic I can't even believe it myself, But 🤞Cheeky because I have been bitten many many times

now, so my mind is open and ready for any eventuality🤞I sincerely hope you are doing Ok cheeky and  keeping away

from any nasty waves, we will ALL stick together and we will beat these evil drugs and recover to a renewed life of 

calm and health and happiness beyond our wildest dreams.

Take great care, and please stay safe.           B.🙏🤞