49 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Morning and THANKS all, back of my 5.15am walk, later but NOT because of more sleep. I awoke after

4 hours very broken sleep after the most hellish and worst night to date. I am getting very near ringing

the crisis team. That or suicide. Am at my very limit now.

 

Now I have a food delivery 7.30-8.30am this morning, which I will handle, but things really are now that

bad, if it gets worse the crisis team WILL be called. So I will see how the day pans out, but each day now

just seems to be getting worse, severe nausea not lifting until mid afternoon, sleep getting worse and every

other symptom also getting worse. Mirtazapine is a drug from HELL itself.🤬

Take care all,      B.  

My heart goes out B. Seeing you suffer so on a daily basis is terrible. 
 

Id worry what the crisis team would do. More drugs for sure. Perhaps a little benzo would help things and would be better than your  alternative for sure. I wish it would all calm down for you so it was more manageable. I wish you could get near the outro team as I think they would handle a medical intervention the best if that’s the only option, better than the nhs. 
 

There is of course a small up dose. I’ve seen this end very badly with mirt though.

 

Hang in there either way mate. Nothing stays the same. You’ll get there inspite of the torture all you must do is stay with us. 
 

ONE MINUTE AT A TIME BUD IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES JUST KEEP GOING!
 

Chippy

27 minutes ago, Chippy said:

ONE MINUTE AT A TIME BUD IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES JUST KEEP GOING!

Thank @Chippy yes crisis team better than dead. But yes I have wondered if a reinstatement would

work? 14 months off ????  Don't know. Also heard a Benzo is easier to taper off than Mirt. All the suicides

on SA were linked to MIRT! So yes I just want to be well again like everyone, but am in one hell of a hole

at the moment, and CANNOT take much more.🤬

Take care,       B.

31 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

yes crisis team better than dead.

1,000,000% mate

 

31 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

All the suicides

on SA were linked to MIRT!

I know, it seems to make people a bit worse so I wouldnt risk it.

 

31 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Also heard a Benzo is easier to taper off than Mirt.

Yeah Benzos can help in extreme cases I think. I don't support more drugs pretty much ever, but you seem very bad atm and if that is what it takes then a little Benzo might level you out enough whilst you heal. Hate to say it but its better than your alternative. It's also the better route than what some pros try. Doctors just chuck all sorts at your nervous system trying to treat mental health issues. You seem over activated and benzos counter this. So you would be treating the WD symptoms not trying to treat mental health. Try not to get to that if you can, but that would be what I would do IF you have to go to the crisis team. Just don't let them load you up with all sorts. Praying for you mate.

22 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Just don't let them load you up with all sorts. Praying for you mate.

Thanks @Chippy appreciated mate, what's your view on a tiny reinstatement after 14 months off?

Better than a benzo?  Not wanting to do either really.

Take care,       B.🤞

12 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy appreciated mate, what's your view on a tiny reinstatement after 14 months off?

Better than a benzo?  Not wanting to do either really.

Take care,       B.🤞

It’s a hard one. With any other AD yeah maybe. With Mirt I’m not so sure. I think the benzo might be better. I’m shocked at myself saying this tbh. I agree better to stay off anything. You will straighten out eventually but it’s just if you can cope till then. 

I know money is tight mate but your life is important. Are you able to speak to mark h?

Thanks @Chippy Thing is WE know ourselves really, the stories we have read and the research we

have all done, I think that would be throwing more money away. Best is second, minute, hour and day,

with gritted teeth, IF CRISIS happens then crisis team and ask for long half life Benzos. Reluctant to

reinstate because I tapered for 18 months.....so would almost mean staying on for life.  Let's see how

a bit more plodding goes. Food delivered just 5 minutes before time slot expired, had already started

cursing just before he turned up...wave mind. All stored away now, that pressure is off.

Take care,       B. 

4 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy Thing is WE know ourselves really, the stories we have read and the research we

have all done, I think that would be throwing more money away. Best is second, minute, hour and day,

with gritted teeth, IF CRISIS happens then crisis team and ask for long half life Benzos. Reluctant to

reinstate because I tapered for 18 months.....so would almost mean staying on for life.  Let's see how

a bit more plodding goes. Food delivered just 5 minutes before time slot expired, had already started

cursing just before he turned up...wave mind. All stored away now, that pressure is off.

Take care,       B. 

You too mate. I understand mate a broadly agree. 
I’ve seen a few cases of Mirt reinstatement go badly.  It’s a terrible drug this. Underestimated imo. Keep yourself safe at all costs mate. Yes plod cautiously on for the minute. 

Hi B. Sounds you’re having a rough time of it. I’m sorry you have to deal with such misery. I can relate  I hope you smooth out soon. Would hate to see you have to go on a benzo or reinstate. I’ll keep you in my prayers. 
Pokey. 

@NT1100B

My friend....I know J1290 used crbs of benzos and bits of clonidine to get through his taper. Go2zero is experimenting with altenolol and it is allowing him to progress with his taper. Some have used propranolol with success. It all depends on the symptoms. Mark Horowitz has often prescribed other drugs to get through the crisis...they can be tapered later.

We know the key is to start low low low to prevent a bad reaction but enough to help.

Benzos can be effective and you know right away if they are helpful. We just had a new member who used them with good effect.

There is always risk but you are at risk.

Love you...I am here to support you. 

Do you have any mirt...that is an option...I have seen reinstatement work at 9 months and I have seen people go back on the same drug after they have been off it after a couple years but not it protracted withdrawal from it.

Please do what you need to do to get help. 

💯🙏❤️

 

1 hour ago, Pokey449 said:

Hi B. Sounds you’re having a rough time of it. I’m sorry you have to deal with such misery. I can relate  I hope you smooth out soon. Would hate to see you have to go on a benzo or reinstate. I’ll keep you in my prayers. 
Pokey. 

Thanks @Pokey449 that means a lot Bud. Yes very much on the limit from midnight last night, as much as I

could take. NO way to live isn't than man. Horrific. Lifted a bit from 11am and on, so a bit of relief this afternoon.

I hope you are doing better Pokey, these f....ing drugs are beyond dangerous. Take it slow and easy Bud. I will

keep gently plodding, but can't take much more like last night.🤬

Take care,      B.

8 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Pokey449 that means a lot Bud. Yes very much on the limit from midnight last night, as much as I

could take. NO way to live isn't than man. Horrific. Lifted a bit from 11am and on, so a bit of relief this afternoon.

I hope you are doing better Pokey, these f....ing drugs are beyond dangerous. Take it slow and easy Bud. I will

keep gently plodding, but can't take much more like last night.🤬

Take care,      B.

Always thinking of you mate. You’ll get through this! Glad you lifted a bit. You needed that. 

I am very sad to read about your suffering. We all wish so much We could do something for you! 
 

you seem to be in an alarming state. Avoiding Benzod is usually the right thing to do, but it is not a must in extreme cases. If you’re considering suicide or a crisis team, you can also think of other measures , and if you do it yourself, you have more control.

 

in my limited opinion, benzos have the advantage that you have a relief very fast. Reinstating mirt is probably dangerous, and it would take a while until you see whether it helps you or whether it harms you.
 

Just to add my little experience:  I personally was able to taper Zolpidem without any problems after 10 years

of daily use (not recommended!)  but of course, there are many other cases I would think. This one has a very short half life though. This is not necessarily bad, because you can dose very precisely. I took it to help me fall asleep and it did not make me tired during the day. Maybe just a quarter of a 5 mg tablet can help you get more sleep. And with more sleep, everything else might relax a little…

 

I don’t know. I just thought, if we pool our experience, it could be helpful for you.

 

take good care! 

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

Do you have any mirt...that is an option...I have seen reinstatement work at 9 months and I have seen people go back on the same drug after they have been off it after a couple years but not it protracted withdrawal from it.

Please do what you need to do to get help. 

💯🙏❤️

Hey @LostinCanada thanks loads, yes I have been at the lowest place ever. BUT something I read on SA has

stuck in my mind.....DON'T make a PERMANENT decision for a TEMPORY problem....stuck in my MIND did that

one. So yes LIC as horrific and SI thoughts as I had last night, OPTIONS are available. Yes I have enough Mirt left

for quite a while (9x28) not sure why I accumulated that many, but there you go.

 

Now thank god I lifted a bit from 11am LIC, slight wave headache now, but that's nothing. Overnight was the worst

I have known. Unreal....you think there is no way it can get worse.....then BAM, a torturous murder, pure unadulterated

EVIL So yes... CAN'T get worse....think again. But yes LIC if it hammers me same or worse Crisis team will be called.

The fantastic advise from SA, and now here on AR, gives us the knowledge of tools needed to STAY ALIVE.

Thanks again LIC, your knowledge and experience are a lifesaver, I sincerely hope you are doing better now. 

Take great care, and please stay safe,      B.🙏🤞💙 

 

19 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Always thinking of you mate. You’ll get through this! Glad you lifted a bit. You needed that.

Thanks @Chippy Yes slight relief mate, which was very much needed, because a bit like doctors,

come weekend and crisis services, are not AS available, travel further afield. LAST resort though

that. So yes it's just going to be interesting what tonight throws up.

Take care,      B.

5 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

.DON'T make a PERMANENT decision for a TEMPORY problem.

I read that and have repeated it numerous times....❤️❤️❤️

I am slowly doing better...the trauma of it all is so paralyzing ...but the sun is shining, the cherry blossoms are going wild and there are better days ahead.

So happy it is lifting for you. Lots of love. 🙏😊💯

11 minutes ago, Nemina said:

I don’t know. I just thought, if we pool our experience, it could be helpful for you.

 

take good care! 

Hey @Nemina thanks very much.....YES pooling resources is VERY helpful, it's more tools in

our toolbox to beat these horrific PWDs, any which way we can. Thanks again and I hope you 

are doing ok. Please stay strong.

Take care,        B.🤞

3 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

So happy it is lifting for you. Lots of love. 🙏😊💯

Thanks @LostinCanada I am relieved you are getting better LIC, yes NOTHING more horrific.

Oh I have seen DGL liquorice on Ebay LIC so I will order some VERY soon.....Stomach has been the biggest

problem, Horrendous nausea, un shiftable with anything, pure misery.... So wishing you all the best, we will

very gently keep plodding.

Take care,       B.🙏🤞💙 

Hey B @NT1100B just popping in to say hi and send you the biggest hug for how tough things have been for you recently. I’m so sorry to hear it.

You are such a kind and caring person to us all and I think of you daily on our different but rough mirtazapine journeys.

Keep holding on buddy and I pray for some relief for you soon . 🤗🙏

 

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Stomach has been the biggest

problem,

I got hit the last few months with bloating...I thought I was dying...the pain was intense...worse than labour pains by far....if you are having that as well, I got relief from using a heating pad. 

Maybe that would help you as well...also making diy rehydration drinks helped with nausea. It's brutal. ❤️🙏

This is just awful for you B. 

 

Praying you and we are all here for you. 

 

 

DON'T make a PERMANENT decision for a TEMPORY problem.

Keep telling yourself this and keep posting here for support . THIS ISNT PERMANENT 

we love you and do whatever you have to do to get through .,

we're here for you Mr B ❤️

Hi B. Here for my nightly check in and very sad at what I see you reporting. In this hell you're going through, I personally could see getting help from a crisis team if you experience another night such as the previous one. It seems you're getting to your limit, and that's OK. This is an injury, and as such, may require some additional intervention.

 

If you go that route, I would give the medical team a total run down of your current withdrawal situation. The more info, the better. Maybe someone will have treated a similar situation. I truly wonder if getting a good night's sleep, even with meds, might start the healing process for you. It really is the unknowing that is the hard part.

 

In the end, you are not left without options. Remember that. You are not doomed to live like this forever. And with so many of us praying for you, I'm expecting a miracle at some point. I'm asking our Blessed Mother to wrap her protective and comforting mantle around you. We're all with you in spirit.

 

Love, peace and blessings,

Jamie 🙏❣️

Morning all and thanks @Emsy @LostinCanada @Tracey and @cheeky for your fantastic warm heartfelt

support....very much appreciated.💙

 

So I awoke this morning after 3.5 broken hours sleep on a 0, not quite as horrendous as last night but not far off.

Back off my 3.50am morning walk, zero energy so very lethargic on that. Just forcing the body really, like a half

dead zombie. So nothing to look forward to and feeling very dejected, zero improvement in 14 months. PWD Symptoms

worse rather than better, so nothing to like there. Sorry if I am sounding negative, but I am just telling it as IS.

 

My life when I think has been problems throughout, so death would be NO big deal, the way I see it at the moment 

what's to MISS. I am surviving a constant barrage of mind terror 20 hours a day, asleep for 4 hours if I am lucky.

Bank balance dwindling fast with zero income, so if I recover after another 2 years of this, I will be in poverty. NOT

a good outlook. Now don't be too concerned about this....THIS is my WAVE mind speaking.

 

I am just letting negative thoughts flow through the keyboard getting rid of them if you will. But yes living like a hermit

for the last 14 months does not help, but with this horrible PWD it's the only way for me to survive. Solitude for me is

still a MUST for me at the moment, and probably for the next 1-2-3 years or however long it takes. Oh well, more

meditation now I think, catch you later.....

Take care,       B.

Hang in there B. Don’t listen to the wave brain. It’s talking nonsense. 
 

We’ve all had our ups and downs throughout our lifes. It’s part of living. It’s messy sometimes. You will have had many good moments too I know. 😊

 

Your going to have many more good moments too. This is just temporary my friend. 
 

Yeah it’s a battle but you’re a strong guy and I know it won’t beat you. 
 

Vent away though mate. It’s better out than in. 
 

Once you’ve recovered I can only imagine what a force for good you can be. If you choose to hang here a bit your experience will bring so much light and support to others. You’ve got so much to give the world.
 

We all care about you very much mate. 
 

This will all pass. 

 

Chippy