14 hours ago, Beehive said:

Thinking of you 🙏

That's sweet @Beehive thank you!

I was hit by a strong wave yesterday that decided to stay but we know how it goes.. this too shall pass!

How was yesterday for you and how are you now?

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Fullhealing

I thought that might be the case . I believe the stronger the wave the more healing is being done well maybe I just choose to believe that as a way of getting through 😊I sincerely hope today will be a better day for you ,you deserve it . I had a good day yesterday and totally unexpected but was so grateful for it .Mornings are getting better not so full on just anxiety sitting in my chest and stomach. Just remember we are always here if not in comments definitely in spirit you are not alone that finish line is closer than you think ,Stay strong you've got this 🤗

15 minutes ago, Beehive said:

I thought that might be the case . I believe the stronger the wave the more healing is being done well maybe I just choose to believe that as a way of getting through 😊I sincerely hope today will be a better day for you ,you deserve it . I had a good day yesterday and totally unexpected but was so grateful for it .Mornings are getting better not so full on just anxiety sitting in my chest and stomach. Just remember we are always here if not in comments definitely in spirit you are not alone that finish line is closer than you think ,Stay strong you've got this 🤗

Thank you lovely beehive, so pleased you had a good day yesterday!

I think the same, we discover our strengths in times of difficulty so even if it's not noticeable at the time, it happens.

Wishing you and everyone else an easy and bearable day ahead 🫶

34 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

we discover our strengths in times of difficulty so even if it's not noticeable at the time, it happens.

I agree. And it is important that we remind ourselves of these kind of truths. ❤️‍🩹💪
 

Update 3:00pm

Nights continue to be challenging, if it's not external noise then internal but it will ease out slowly.

Yesterday was tough, I was mentally fueled most of the day, worked for a few hours and almost lost my temper over stupid things so I had to distance myself from the situation, take a deep breath, bring in some sense and it stopped in time, luckily!

Got home and while doing some errands I made a wrong move and hard a loud click in my neck and from there pain that is still present now, I had to just lie down most of yesterday with a heated pillow on the area..

Today is still pretty shitty physically but my mind is better, I managed to work for a few hours, my mind was surprisingly sharp for work so I was also productive for a change.

That's it, I just hope the pain continues to fade as the day goes by.

And as always, we continue to push forward! 👊

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Fullhealing

The cruel thing is none of us deserve this 😔...I know we've mentioned Epsom Salts and lack of a bath was thinking could you get some and make a strong solution in a bowl / bucket hot water obviously not too hot and when in the shower using a sponge or flannel get it really wet and sponge yourself holding it in place especially the areas that are worse 🤔

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Beehive

The replenishing one is good for anxiety the muscle.soak is good for tight muscles I use Westland brand 

46 minutes ago, Beehive said:

The cruel thing is none of us deserve this 😔...I know we've mentioned Epsom Salts and lack of a bath was thinking could you get some and make a strong solution in a bowl / bucket hot water obviously not too hot and when in the shower using a sponge or flannel get it really wet and sponge yourself holding it in place especially the areas that are worse 🤔

Sound good, no reason not to try it, I'll have to order first, thank you!

Hey @Fullhealing I’m so sorry about your neck pains. Just another thing to deal with which you didn’t need. I hope this fades soon! Xxx

That's what I thought ..no harm ,and it might trick the mind into thinking this is working 😉

17 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hey @Fullhealing I’m so sorry about your neck pains. Just another thing to deal with which you didn’t need. I hope this fades soon! Xxx

Thanks great @Chippy luckily everything fades 🙏

10 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 3:00pm

Nights continue to be challenging, if it's not external noise then internal but it will ease out slowly.

Yesterday was tough, I was mentally fueled most of the day, worked for a few hours and almost lost my temper over stupid things so I had to distance myself from the situation, take a deep breath, bring in some sense and it stopped in time, luckily!

Got home and while doing some errands I made a wrong move and hard a loud click in my neck and from there pain that is still present now, I had to just lie down most of yesterday with a heated pillow on the area..

Today is still pretty shitty physically but my mind is better, I managed to work for a few hours, my mind was surprisingly sharp for work so I was also productive for a change.

That's it, I just hope the pain continues to fade as the day goes by.

And as always, we continue to push forward! 👊

Hi @Fullhealing I suffer with crick neck from time to time. I believe it’s part of the role of serotonin. Sounds like your body’s giving you clear signals it’s time to rest. I go through periods of heightened emotions, often associated with me “pushing myself” to either hurry or get through a list of “must do” tasks. Frustrating I know. My body’s in a go slow state at the moment. Sleepy and lethargic, I’m trying to be self compassionate.

5 hours ago, Catbird said:

Hi @Fullhealing I suffer with crick neck from time to time. I believe it’s part of the role of serotonin. Sounds like your body’s giving you clear signals it’s time to rest. I go through periods of heightened emotions, often associated with me “pushing myself” to either hurry or get through a list of “must do” tasks. Frustrating I know. My body’s in a go slow state at the moment. Sleepy and lethargic, I’m trying to be self compassionate.

Thanks @Catbird yes, that's a valid point, since I'm a pusher by nature.

I'm trying to work on giving myself a break but there are things that are under my responsibility that only I can do, just a part of living alone and being used to do everything by myself (which I love mostly).. finding that fine balance is a real challenge.. work in progress.

Edited April 1Apr 1 by Fullhealing

Update 7am

Well, been awake since 4:00 so quality night it wasn't but it is what it is, I'll just accept it and let it be, it won't last forever and resistance makes everything much worse!

Physically, still with the heating pad on my neck, I wouldn't say there's been a significant change, the canker was probably serious there but with that too, not much to do except let it be and eventually go.. well, to rest more.. working on it.

Mood, relatively fine, a little confused atm but makes sense given the crappy sleep.

Overall: despite the above, I am still improving, mentally I'm the best I have been in a very long time, physically obviously needs improvement but it will come.

General improvements: digestion much better the last two days, tinnitus also a little less loud.

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

I'll just accept it and let it be, it won't last forever and resistance makes everything much worse!

My mantra for life this. Certainly wd life. 
 

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

Overall: despite the above, I am still improving, mentally I'm the best I have been in a very long time, physically obviously needs improvement but it will come.

Love your stoic positivity. Good to recognise the improvement too! Warrior. Xxx

15 minutes ago, Chippy said:

My mantra for life this. Certainly wd life. 
 

Love your stoic positivity. Good to recognise the improvement too! Warrior. Xxx

Thanks great @Chippy definitely recognize the positive, I lived on the other side far too long just to realize that it wasn't worth it, life is too short for that! 

Edited April 1Apr 1 by Fullhealing

2 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

life is too short! 

👆this right here! @Fullhealing sooo true. Wd is hell. But there are some incredible skills we learn on route. I believe once healed we will be stronger for them. 

9 minutes ago, Chippy said:

there are some incredible skills we learn on route. I believe once healed we will be stronger for them. 

On spot chippy!! more coping tools which is what we needed in the first place and so much stronger 💪 

Edited April 1Apr 1 by Fullhealing

5 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Thanks @Catbird yes, that's a valid point, since I'm a pusher by nature.

I'm trying to work on giving myself a break but there are things that are under my responsibility that only I can do, just a part of living alone and being used to do everything by myself (which I love mostly).. finding that fine balance is a real challenge.. work in progress.

I get @Fullhealing. I had a complete breakdown 6 years ago and just couldn't keep up with my "must do things". I've realised over the past few months in particular it's the feelings of loss of control I can't cope with. The feeling of free fall is one of the feelings I have been practising sitting with. I know rationally the world is not going to end, but my body and brain are telling me otherwise.  I've had to let a lot go and get used to it. I'm more concerned with my recovery ATM. 🤗

6 hours ago, Catbird said:

I get @Fullhealing. I had a complete breakdown 6 years ago and just couldn't keep up with my "must do things". I've realised over the past few months in particular it's the feelings of loss of control I can't cope with. The feeling of free fall is one of the feelings I have been practising sitting with. I know rationally the world is not going to end, but my body and brain are telling me otherwise.  I've had to let a lot go and get used to it. I'm more concerned with my recovery ATM. 🤗

So sorry for the crash you went through @Catbird it must have been so hard!

and yes! control and letting go, so challenging especially for people who are used to being very independent but every difficulty that hits is there to teach us something even though it is hard to see it while in.

A work in progress that will bear delicious fruit in the end, we just need to keep marching forward bravely! ✨✨

update 4am

We had a disturbance around 1:30 that kept me awake until now so no better time to update a little and maybe let off some steam..

Neck pain isn't getting better, I just hope that the loud canker from two days ago isn't a sign of something more serious than just tight muscles, trying my best not to let it worry me but the massages including the hot pillow aren't helping at all so my mind going straight to a herniated disc.. definitely not something I want to deal with but I probably went way too far and it will pass in the next few days.

Mood, very wintery from yesterday, little crying, sadness, anger, confusion and a lot of self-pity that I hate but sneak in from time to time.. I'll give it a clear time limit and move on, diving from there is easy.

That's it for now, hopefully I'll be able to sleep again soon and tomorrow will be brighter, we'll see.

Edited April 2Apr 2 by Fullhealing

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

update 4am

We had a disturbance around 1:30 that kept me awake until now so no better time to update a little and maybe let off some steam..

Neck pain isn't getting better, I just hope that the loud canker from two days ago isn't a sign of something more serious than just tight muscles, trying my best not to let it worry me but the massages including the hot pillow aren't helping at all so my mind going straight to a herniated disc.. definitely not something I want to deal with but I probably went way too far and it will pass in the next few days.

Mood, very wintery from yesterday, little crying, sadness, anger, confusion and a lot of self-pity that I hate but sneak in from time to time.. I'll give it a clear time limit and move on, diving from there is easy.

That's it for now, hopefully I'll be able to sleep again soon and tomorrow will be brighter, we'll see.

Wishing you some more rest @Fullhealing I’m sure given more time your neck will improve. Our bodies are amazing but do need a while sometimes to do their good work. Longer than we would like often. Healing is still happening. Xxx

Good morning @Fullhealing

I hope you got some more sleep and that you feel better this morning. 
I is so good to hear that the improvements appear some in glimpse some slowly getting less annoying.

I particular notice the change in your overall approach to what is. That is selfcare big time. And you did it - made this turnaround. You are so strong, and I am amazed of how you are doing despite everything. 

Here spring is moving fast forward. I

enjoy the sun and the blue sky, still being in my soft spot and justs have small short episodes of WD. So the small reductions are going well.

I wish for you that your improvement will continue too. We are on this journey together. 🙏💕💕
 

Edited April 2Apr 2 by Haa

I managed to go back to sleep although woke up far from feeling refreshed,

so far it's not going well but I'm also exsta hormonal which adds a lot fun and makes me dive into a self-pity party.. it will pass..

@Haa so pleased to hear that you're still doing well despite a small stumble, you're doing amazing! I will pray that the rest of the way will go the same for you.

@Chippy thank you, it's hard to see light when it's dark but it's always there, we just have to keep on pushing.

Thank you both so much for being here, you're wonderful 💞

34 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

makes me dive into a self-pity party.. it will pass..

It’s easily done. But you are right. It will pass. No 1 AR Warrior! 🛡️ ⚔️