1 hour ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i havent slept for 2 nights, i have standard night routine which helps always so good and i always sleep between 2 am and 10 am and now i slept only at 7 am and i woke up every hour, im so scared bc my symtpoms have been crazy and more freaky and it makes me almost believe i am actually dead or something

how do you guys feel today? <3

46 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i havent slept for 2 nights, i have standard night routine which helps always so good and i always sleep between 2 am and 10 am and now i slept only at 7 am and i woke up every hour, im so scared bc my symtpoms have been crazy and more freaky and it makes me almost believe i am actually dead or something

You are still very much alive and will continue to be so no matter what symptoms arise.

Sleep issues are a very common one that hits me hard at times, another sign of a system working on healing.

Slowly it will better, you are coping great!

Proud of you @caitlinnathanie you are doing well, better than you think! Keep going your system is working hard for you! xxx

guyyss i rlllyyy cant anymore im soo desoriented that i dont know what life is anymore and im soooo scared of existing and being human while not knwing who i am, my body is stiff of adrenaline i genuinely barely can make it throughthe days and nights. I ccan't cope anymore and i cant do this anymore like this im serious this is my point where i cant take it anymore normally i could distract a little but not anymore its so strong i can barely move

did anyone here used Clonidine? for adrenaline? my adrenalineis SO high

1 hour ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guyyss i rlllyyy cant anymore im soo desoriented that i dont know what life is anymore and im soooo scared of existing and being human while not knwing who i am, my body is stiff of adrenaline i genuinely barely can make it throughthe days and nights. I ccan't cope anymore and i cant do this anymore like this im serious this is my point where i cant take it anymore normally i could distract a little but not anymore its so strong i can barely move

I’m so sorry to hear Caitlain. You can definitely do it. I know it doesnt feel like it at the moment but you will have days that feel overwhelming. Remind yourself this is all wd/injury.

Do you have access to an exercise bike? I have heard this can help to burn off the adrenaline. It might not help but just something to try.

50 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

did anyone here used Clonidine? for adrenaline? my adrenalineis SO high

I know we always say not to take more drugs, but this is for good reason. Your brain needs to be free from them now and heal without further harm. Xxx

14 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I’m so sorry to hear Caitlain. You ca definitely do it. I know it can’t feel like it way the moment but you will have days that feel overwhelming. Remind yourself this is all wd/injury.

Sounds like you have a little Akathisia. Do you have access to an exercise bike? I have heard this can help to burn off the adrenaline. It might not help but just something to try.

I know we always say not to take more drugs, but this is for good reason. Your brain needs to be free from them now and heal without further harm. Xxx

no i don't have it and to be honest if u could see me... i lay in bed the whole day just crying and screaming for it to stop because it is so intense i can not move, can not even walk to the toilet at this point.. :(

Just now, caitlinnathanie said:

no i don't have it and to be honest if u could see me... i lay in bed the whole day just crying and screaming for it to stop because it is so intense i can not move, can not even walk to the toilet at this point.. :(

That is understandable. If it’s too much it’s obviously it right for you atm. We are with you. Better days will be coming. Your body is strong and nothing lasts forever. Just holding on through the tough times. You should be proud of yourself, it is not an easy journey but you do have the strength. Believe it!

1 hour ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guyyss i rlllyyy cant anymore im soo desoriented that i dont know what life is anymore and im soooo scared of existing and being human while not knwing who i am, my body is stiff of adrenaline i genuinely barely can make it throughthe days and nights. I ccan't cope anymore and i cant do this anymore like this im serious this is my point where i cant take it anymore normally i could distract a little but not anymore its so strong i can barely move

You have to remember this is all ups and downs and noise that is temporary, you don't have to believe it or agree with it, just mindfully accept it and do as you can, you know it will pass and it is just temporary noise.

i just wish i knew someone who had exacxtly what i had now so we could support eachtoher i feel like my symptoms are so bad i cant even get through the day.

9 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i just wish i knew someone who had exacxtly what i had now so we could support eachtoher i feel like my symptoms are so bad i cant even get through the day.

You're never going to find someone with your exact experience because we're all individuals and we all suffer in unique ways. You're doing something that's very common for people in withdrawal; you're conditioning your recovery on a specific event or thing. In this case, you want to find someone with your exact symptoms, because you think that will help your recovery. Other people tell themselves "If I can just get rid of this pain in my side, I can recover". or "If I can get rid of this one bad thought, I'll be okay". The problem is your anxious mind will just find something else to worry about and you'll be back where you started. Its the fear itself that's the problem.

Don't deny yourself the support you can get here because you don't think we understand what you're going through. Your symptoms are very typical for someone experiencing withdrawal, and many members have had similar, if not exact, experiences. @Lighty gave you some great advice, that right now accepting the feelings knowing they will pass. Its hard and may seem hopeless, but you will get through this!

but how do i know if its ftom injury or just all thee panic attacks and avoidance i didd in beginning when i quit?\

8 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

You're never going to find someone with your exact experience because we're all individuals and we all suffer in unique ways. You're doing something that's very common for people in withdrawal; you're conditioning your recovery on a specific event or thing. In this case, you want to find someone with your exact symptoms, because you think that will help your recovery. Other people tell themselves "If I can just get rid of this pain in my side, I can recover". or "If I can get rid of this one bad thought, I'll be okay". The problem is your anxious mind will just find something else to worry about and you'll be back where you started. Its the fear itself that's the problem.

Don't deny yourself the support you can get here because you don't think we understand what you're going through. Your symptoms are very typical for someone experiencing withdrawal, and many members have had similar, if not exact, experiences. @Lighty gave you some great advice, that right now accepting the feelings knowing they will pass. Its hard and may seem hopeless, but you will get through this!

yesss so truee

3 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

but how do i know if its ftom injury or just all thee panic attacks and avoidance i didd in beginning when i quit?\

It doesn't make any difference--the path to recovery is the same.

9 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

It doesn't make any difference--the path to recovery is the same.

but i hear people say with injury it just needs time time time and do as little to not damage further and with only panic attacks u need to rewire and do stuff again? or have i interpreted it wrong?

2 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

but i hear people say with injury it just needs time time time and do as little to not damage further and with only panic attacks u need to rewire and do stuff again? or have i interpreted it wrong?

I think what they mean is to not take any more meds trying to find something to ease your symptoms--that just prolongs the time it'll take for your nervous system to settle. A lot of people are so desperate for relief they'll switch meds, doses, etc. Of course, you need to pace your recovery efforts to what you can tolerate at any given moment. You want to take things nice and slow and be gentle with yourself.

@caitlinnathanie I think it is important to understand that panic is just a symptom of a dysregulated nervous system. All the different symptoms are not seperate conditions, they are just your injury manifesting in different ways. So you don't need to isolate each one and think how to cure it, just understand that the nervous system as a whole is upset and needs time and no more drugs to heal and settle down.

i just feel so unsafe it feels like my brain cant comprehend anything anymore like i have dissapeared 10 seconds ago and then the not knowing who i am and where i feel like im overdosed like im genuinely gone or hallucinating, how is this possible it is so inhumane

im so scared ofdeath but im almost bevoming more scared to live, im so so scared i cant handle it anymore how extreme it has gotten..

guys its acutally insufferable edo u thik i need to reinstate or something there i something i must do i cant live in this hell ijm complete overwhelmed to the point i cant beare it anymore like not even a littke, normally i could stil watch a show or play a little game on my laptop but now it s so unbearable even with my gf near me or just on my laptop its insane!

9 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guys its acutally insufferable edo u thik i need to reinstate or something there i something i must do i cant live in this hell ijm complete overwhelmed to the point i cant beare it anymore like not even a littke, normally i could stil watch a show or play a little game on my laptop but now it s so unbearable even with my gf near me or just on my laptop its insane!

You are in a brutal wave @caitlinnathanie remember, it is temporary and not always at the same intensity, it will come and go until the system regulated.

Considering that the drug itself created this hell of yours, reinstatement will only create triple hell, I'm truly sorry for your suffering, I know it's so hard but that is how the system heals, not linearly.. we are all on the same crazy roller coaster! distractions with acceptance, that's the way out, hang in there, it will improve.

@Fullhealing is right @caitlinnathanie

There is nothing to Ri you reacted so badly to the drugs in the first place. I know it sounds terrible to say but time is the answer here.

You have been doing a little better at times. Remember this for when it’s so bad.

I agree. This isn’t fair and it is inhumane.

Hang in there though this is worth it. It can’t hurt you. Just one day at a time. Xxx

@caitlinnathanie Hi, I've been following your story awhile now and I am so sorry what what you're enduring. You are in my prayers. Whether you feel it, or believe it, you are much stronger than you know. I have been in some of the most hellacious waves, I thought i was losing it. No one could help, or console me. I went to the ER many times only to sit isolated and scared for many hours, only to get a little pamphlet on anxiety. I felt so defeated and lost.

What you're experiencing now is a wave. They are convincing. They feel like torture. They feel like they aren't EVER going to quit

Im commenting this to tell you what helped me. There is no easy way to alleviate it. I liken it to having your hand on a burning stove and you cant remove it. What helped me was changing my view. You must visually see yourself recognizing it for what it is.

When I feel it coming on, I MUST remind myself that this isn't me. I know it is some chaotic healing, and while it feels like hell, the body is made to heal. Slowly. Not straight forward. And certainly not fun. Dear God it is TOUGH. But you are not alone. Im here today trying to help others because I know what it feels like. You aren't crazy, you aren't weak, and you're not broken.

Remind yourself to give yourself grace to feel terrible, and recognize it for what it is. That honestly gave me great stability and peace when I needed it most 👌♥️ That, and plenty of time.

22 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

@caitlinnathanie Hi, I've been following your story awhile now and I am so sorry what what you're enduring. You are in my prayers. Whether you feel it, or believe it, you are much stronger than you know. I have been in some of the most hellacious waves, I thought i was losing it. No one could help, or console me. I went to the ER many times only to sit isolated and scared for many hours, only to get a little pamphlet on anxiety. I felt so defeated and lost.

What you're experiencing now is a wave. They are convincing. They feel like torture. They feel like they aren't EVER going to quit

Im commenting this to tell you what helped me. There is no easy way to alleviate it. I liken it to having your hand on a burning stove and you cant remove it. What helped me was changing my view. You must visually see yourself recognizing it for what it is.

When I feel it coming on, I MUST remind myself that this isn't me. I know it is some chaotic healing, and while it feels like hell, the body is made to heal. Slowly. Not straight forward. And certainly not fun. Dear God it is TOUGH. But you are not alone. Im here today trying to help others because I know what it feels like. You aren't crazy, you aren't weak, and you're not broken.

Remind yourself to give yourself grace to feel terrible, and recognize it for what it is. That honestly gave me great stability and peace when I needed it most 👌♥️ That, and plenty of time.

Beautifully written!

Hold on @caitlinnathanie time and more time, your system is working hard and will heal xx

my parents forced me to the doctor onky to tell me the only way to get out it through meds bc muadrenaline downt break, i dont even know where i am or who i am like 247 but like rlly strong as if im noy on the world anymore i can barely go on my laptop its literally torture and helll, genuinely fear this is gonna be my death