37 minutes ago, Some0n3 said:

Severe enough where it feels like my brain is shutting down and almost like my entire nervous system has been anesthesized. Everything around me feels muted and it almost feels like being under the influence of strong drugs, not that i know how those feel but if i had to guess. I also have those out of body moments where it feels like im watching myself through my brain and i feel like im in my own fog bubble, watching everything from the inside if that makes sense. Im not going to lie, most of these symptoms that i listed havent gotten that much better and i have most of these symptoms every second of the day. But what i can tell you is that some of those out of body spectator moments have happened less for me as time goes on. Instead i just remain in this constant brainfog but i hold hope that it will eventually lift. I dont want to sugarcoat it for you, you need to be prepared for the unknown because in reality, the time it takes to get better varies from person to person but this i believe is that most people do heal. You just have to hang in there and believe that, always hold out hope no matter how hard. We are all here for you. Sorry if this is a bit of a downer reply but there is always a chance that you will heal faster and enduring all of this is worth it in the end so you can get your life back.

yes i get that.. do u recognize urself? do u get the depersonalization?

What does ur day look like? thank u so much for ur response i appreciate it.

1 minute ago, caitlinnathanie said:

yes i get that.. do u recognize urself? do u get the depersonalization?

What does ur day look like? thank u so much for ur response i appreciate it.

Youre welcome! I do recognize myself but i get times where i look into the mirror and it feels like staring at a stranger. And i also have moments where my body feels strange and unfamiliar, like it is only an extension of me and not me if that makes sense. Those moments have slowly become more rare though compared to where i started so i have made progress! And yes i get both derealization and depersonalisation but ive grown to ignore it and not feed it with fear. After all it is your body trying to protect you by taking you away from the present moment. And that is sent into overdrive with your wd. My day to day is mostly spent at home but as time has gone by, I can actually spend time outside of my house with hobbies etc. For example working out because i find that it has helped me quite a bit in distracting myself with something healthy. I think that its important to have hobbies especially at a time like this. the biggest part that has helped me is accepting my situation along with coping skills. Now of course this doesnt mean being okay with it but just accepting that this is what is happening and to try and get more comfortable with the fact. As time goes on and while you heal, you will become more and more functional believe me. When my wd first started, i was really depressed and had suicidal thoughts pretty much every day along with panic attacks and severe anxiety so i can relate to the horror when all these symptoms crash down on you but nowadays i feel my mood and overall outlook on life to be much more positive after accepting that this is how i am for the time being. Of course i have moments of falling back into that depressive hole and that is completely okay but it is not nearly as frequent anymore. You could try some grounding exercises or something like that to help you feel more familiar in your body. Sorry for the long reply haha

ugh its 30 degrees in my room i feel like im suffocating while i already feel like im suffocating wthh why didnt this hapen in the winter ughh

3 hours ago, Some0n3 said:

Youre welcome! I do recognize myself but i get times where i look into the mirror and it feels like staring at a stranger. And i also have moments where my body feels strange and unfamiliar, like it is only an extension of me and not me if that makes sense. Those moments have slowly become more rare though compared to where i started so i have made progress! And yes i get both derealization and depersonalisation but ive grown to ignore it and not feed it with fear. After all it is your body trying to protect you by taking you away from the present moment. And that is sent into overdrive with your wd. My day to day is mostly spent at home but as time has gone by, I can actually spend time outside of my house with hobbies etc. For example working out because i find that it has helped me quite a bit in distracting myself with something healthy. I think that its important to have hobbies especially at a time like this. the biggest part that has helped me is accepting my situation along with coping skills. Now of course this doesnt mean being okay with it but just accepting that this is what is happening and to try and get more comfortable with the fact. As time goes on and while you heal, you will become more and more functional believe me. When my wd first started, i was really depressed and had suicidal thoughts pretty much every day along with panic attacks and severe anxiety so i can relate to the horror when all these symptoms crash down on you but nowadays i feel my mood and overall outlook on life to be much more positive after accepting that this is how i am for the time being. Of course i have moments of falling back into that depressive hole and that is completely okay but it is not nearly as frequent anymore. You could try some grounding exercises or something like that to help you feel more familiar in your body. Sorry for the long reply haha

ahhh okay yea that is good that u recognize urself more and more, love that for you. im so sorry it took so long, but im happy u can do hobbies again. i will try that toom more often, trying to play more games now on my pc. and just watching my shows.

12 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

ahhh okay yea that is good that u recognize urself more and more, love that for you. im so sorry it took so long

yeah im sure that it will happen to you too, just give it time and im sure that youll do fine! thank you for the kind words, any progress is better than none!

13 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

. i will try that toom more often, trying to play more games now on my pc. and just watching my shows.

that sounds good, just take it one day at a time. i also like to play pc games quite alot, maybe too much honestly but limiting my game time isnt a priority for me right now. hope you can find some enjoyment in doing those things.

Edited May 26May 26 by Some0n3

hi guys,

today has been a lot, i tried to wake up with a more positive mind but it goes dark almost immediately, anyone tips for this? i keep having memories come up and getting really sad with them and after that i dissociate even more..

42 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

hi guys,

today has been a lot, i tried to wake up with a more positive mind but it goes dark almost immediately, anyone tips for this? i keep having memories come up and getting really sad with them and after that i dissociate even more..

also im so sorry i post here daily i just feel so incredibly alone in this journeyi feel like im slowly losing my life

28 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

also im so sorry i post here daily i just feel so incredibly alone in this journeyi

Please don’t apologize for posting a lot, this forum is where we all come for support. All of us go through times when we need more support ourselves, and times when we have more capacity to support others. It’s good to see that you’re asking more specific questions about coping practices — although this is a painful journey, I think developing some skills to get you through the day will make it a little bit easier 😊

1 hour ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i tried to wake up with a more positive mind but it goes dark almost immediately, anyone tips for this

I think other folks will be able to answer who have more experience than me, but I can tell you what I do when I’m having a bad day with feelings of dread and lots of negative thoughts. I do two things: (1) I try to combat that negative thoughts by telling myself over and over again that I will get better and that everything that seems so hopeless right now will look a lot more positive when I have a better day; and (2) I do anything I can to distract myself — for me, that’s reading a fun, light book, walking my dogs, watching a show, going to the gym if I feel up to it, anything to get my mind off how I’m feeling even for a second.

That’s not to say these coping skills are always 100% effective — there lots of days when I really struggle. But even if it makes a tiny bit of difference it’s worth it to get through the day. You can do it 💜

58 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

also im so sorry i post here daily i just feel so incredibly alone in this journeyi feel like im slowly losing my life

As @SarahMc said, no need to apologize. This site exists to help you get through withdrawal and into recovery. We're here every step of the way!

i feel sooo freaking stranger this is so horrible

5 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i feel sooo freaking stranger this is so horrible

As strange as it may sound, its all part of the healing process. Your nervous system and body are trying to find their balance again. Its like driving in thick fog--your destination is out there but you can only see a few meters ahead of you. It takes time and effort, but you'll get there.

21 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

As strange as it may sound, its all part of the healing process. Your nervous system and body are trying to find their balance again. Its like driving in thick fog--your destination is out there but you can only see a few meters ahead of you. It takes time and effort, but you'll get there.

yea it;s so stupid bc in my head i feel like its never gonna happen if i knew for sure i would be like alright letsgo but i just don;t know anything also how long its horrible

29 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

i feel sooo freaking stranger this is so horrible

It makes sense, the process erases a significant part of us just to slowly be build even better. I also feel like a stranger, I'm sure many share the same.

Don't be scared of it, it will get better with time.

Edited May 27May 27 by Fullhealing

4 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

yea it;s so stupid bc in my head i feel like its never gonna happen if i knew for sure i would be like alright letsgo but i just don;t know anything also how long its horrible

Yes, its frustrating because it changes from one day to the next and its hard to discern any progress, but each day is one day closer to recovery.

4 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:

today has been a lot, i tried to wake up with a more positive mind but it goes dark almost immediately, anyone tips for this? i keep having memories come up and getting really sad with them and after that i dissociate even more..

that is totally understandable. i think that its a mix of this drastic event and coming to terms with it and also your withdrawal brain trying to push negativity onto you but with time it will get better and youll be able to think more positively imo.

3 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:

also im so sorry i post here daily i just feel so incredibly alone in this journeyi feel like im slowly losing my life

please dont apologize because there is nothing to apologize for, this forum is for doing exactly what you are doing and if it helps then keep posting as much as you wish.

@caitlinnathanie please don’t apologise for posting here. You are welcome and this is what the site is for, to support each other through this challenging journey. Everyone here understands.

you all are so so so kind if i make it out of here i will be grateful forever for u guys, did anyone struggle with feeling fainty and short of breat? i feel that 247 its really annoying.. its making things worse i believe...

12 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:

you all are so so so kind if i make it out of here i will be grateful forever for u guys,

Its our pleasure to be here to support you and each other, you will make it through this. :)

12 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:

did anyone struggle with feeling fainty and short of breat? i feel that 247 its really annoying.. its making things worse i believe...

I have not had this personally, it is really important with all symptoms to be as accepting as possible of their presence so as to not to add any panic or non WD responses to the situation, hard I know, but we must try to do this and stay calm, even if this seems impossible at times, we must try our best. Hope you got some rest last night. xxx

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

Its our pleasure to be here to support you and each other, you will make it through this. :)

I have not had this personally, it is really important with all symptoms to be as accepting as possible of their presence so as to not to add any panic or non WD responses to the situation, hard I know, but we must try to do this and stay calm, even if this seems impossible at times, we must try our best. Hope you got some rest last night. xxx

guys please i have had 2 days where i could not panic and accept it and all of a sudden today its been worse then the worst day ive had idk ifi can survive, i never goes down im so tired and too scared

I’m so sorry you’re back in the depths today @caitlinnathanie. Try to breathe and just make it through one second at a time. The better days will come back. We are all here with you.

20 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guys please i have had 2 days where i could not panic and accept it and all of a sudden today its been worse then the worst day ive had idk ifi can survive, i never goes down im so tired and too scared

So sorry @caitlinnathanie but I will remind you that it is not a straight line, you had two relatively bearable days, this is encouraging.

We all understand the difficulty of holding onto hope amidst the brutality but you are on the right way, it will pass and hopefully soon, hang in there, you can xx

34 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guys please i have had 2 days where i could not panic and accept it and all of a sudden today its been worse then the worst day ive had idk ifi can survive, i never goes down im so tired and too scared

I am sorry you suffer so much girl...

The only thing you can do now is put your phone away. Try to not check and feed constantly in this dpdr narrative. Put your phone in different room. Force yourself to focus on something else, despite how scary it feels. Buy a sudoko book and do some sudokus. Put on your fav easy going tv show and just watch the screen. Anything to get your mind out of this loop.

Its seems you are stuck in an OCD loop... Its really scary, but the only thing you can do is to not feed into the fear anymore and let it go for a tiny bit. Reduce compulsive behaviors like stop looking up DPDR content and constantly asking reassurance. Only do compulsions in set time frame and let it go after.

You can get thru this but no one is gonna safe you. You can only endure this and ride it out until it settles. It will only settle if you stop feeding your anxiety constantly...

YOU GOT THIS!!

55 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:

guys please i have had 2 days where i could not panic and accept it and all of a sudden today its been worse then the worst day ive had idk ifi can survive, i never goes down im so tired and too scared

Sorry to see the things have worsened for you today. Remember how things got a bit easier. That’s good. More days will come like this and they will get better and more regular as time passes. For now hold on tight. You’re doing great. X

4 hours ago, Sophia said:

I am sorry you suffer so much girl...

The only thing you can do now is put your phone away. Try to not check and feed constantly in this dpdr narrative. Put your phone in different room. Force yourself to focus on something else, despite how scary it feels. Buy a sudoko book and do some sudokus. Put on your fav easy going tv show and just watch the screen. Anything to get your mind out of this loop.

Its seems you are stuck in an OCD loop... Its really scary, but the only thing you can do is to not feed into the fear anymore and let it go for a tiny bit. Reduce compulsive behaviors like stop looking up DPDR content and constantly asking reassurance. Only do compulsions in set time frame and let it go after.

You can get thru this but no one is gonna safe you. You can only endure this and ride it out until it settles. It will only settle if you stop feeding your anxiety constantly...

YOU GOT THIS!!

i do this already, the last 2 days it went soo good and now im even worse i just dont know whats happening to me i feel every time im gonna black out or something

@caitlinnathanie Sadly, the process is like this - non-linear with windows and waves. We get some relief, better days and then go back into a wave. But it only shows that the healing is happening and there are moments/days when it can be better. When we feel bad and the symptoms intensify is when we're healing the most. Imagine it as a construction site - workers are working and rebuilding but it will all eventually be built and done and all made new.

It is a painful process but we will endure and be well again. ❤️