caitlinnathanie: Severe DPDR

April 30Apr 30

Author

1 hour ago, Chippy said:
During wd we learn lots of coping skills that can help with life after we have healed. For the minute just eat well. Drink plenty of fluids. Take a walk when you can Try to keep as calm as you can. All the things an injured nervous system needs to heal.

i can not keep calm im literally so dissociated im genuinely so scared for my life, there were 3 people here screaming at me from the crisis team about me needing to go bc i wont take the meds, my parents will let me back but i have to sign something that they arent gonna do anything for me so i need to do all my own stuff and cook and go to grocery store and i can not handle this anymore like this i genuinely don't know what to do i have no one!

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

April 30Apr 30

1 minute ago, caitlinnathanie said:
i can not keep calm im literally so dissociated im genuinely so scared for my life, there were 3 people here screaming at me from the crisis team about me needing to go bc i wont take the meds, my parents will let me back but i have to sign something that they arent gonna do anything for me so i need to do all my own stuff and cook and go to grocery store and i can not handle this anymore like this i genuinely don't know what to do i have no one!

Nobody should be screaming at you right now, certainly not anyone from the crisis team. Good to be out of there.

It’s good your parents will have you back. I’m not sure I understand the signing. But it’s good it’s good you have somewhere to be.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

1

April 30Apr 30

3 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
i can not keep calm im literally so dissociated im genuinely so scared for my life, there were 3 people here screaming at me from the crisis team about me needing to go bc i wont take the meds, my parents will let me back but i have to sign something that they arent gonna do anything for me so i need to do all my own stuff and cook and go to grocery store and i can not handle this anymore like this i genuinely don't know what to do i have no one!

It sounds like your parents are trying a form of "tough love" to get you to deal with your anxiety. Maybe they think by challenging you to do things for yourself it will break the grip of negative thinking that's keeping you trapped. I can't say I agree with their tactics, but at least you're home and safe. Now you can start working on coping skills.

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

1

April 30Apr 30

3 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:
but i feel like im dying 24/7 i genuinely can't do this anymore like this guys my symptoms are so bad im scared 24/7 and this is making it worse too i don;t wanna do this anymore

You are not dying period @caitlinnathanie this overwhelming feeling is just an feeling, as unbearable as it is, it does not pose a danger until you believe in it.

Don't believe your mind that feeds your feeling now. I know how difficult it is, but work on it diligently, there's really no other way, slowly, as the system balances, you will be able to take control and things will look and feel completely different.

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

2

April 30Apr 30

36 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
i can not keep calm im literally so dissociated im genuinely so scared for my life, there were 3 people here screaming at me from the crisis team about me needing to go bc i wont take the meds, my parents will let me back but i have to sign something that they arent gonna do anything for me so i need to do all my own stuff and cook and go to grocery store and i can not handle this anymore like this i genuinely don't know what to do i have no one!

Good that you are out @caitlinnathanie

I had no doubt that your parents would let you stay home, they care and love you so they will try every possible tactic but without a deep understanding of this process it pushes all of you even further to the edge.

There are two things here, 1. Your necessary work on yourself in the process 2. Instilling knowledge in your parents

Adding a link to Angie Peacock's support groups, the cost is minimal, there is also an option for a support group for all those around like family, etc.

Take a look all of you, it could help:

No image preview — Psychotropic Drug Tapering — HeartCore Collective
Peer Support Psychotropic Drug Withdrawal

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

2

April 30Apr 30

Author

idk what to tell u guys anymore im so lost never been this lost don;t know how long i can hang on i feel litetally so alone..

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

April 30Apr 30

2 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
idk what to tell u guys anymore im so lost never been this lost don;t know how long i can hang on i feel litetally so alone..

I know Caitlain I can hear it in your message. You can hang on. Just one day at a time. That’s all you must do. Anything that it takes. Just get through one day. Keep talking with us here. We are all here right there with you. You will get better. Just takes time. You’ve made it this far. You are much stronger than you realise. Future you is going to be so very proud of you.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

2

April 30Apr 30

Author

i know, i just.. the symptoms are so freaky and i didn't know it could get this svere i literally don't know how i am surviving or just living even, i feel so dead more then dead ... like more then dead i can't describe it. I really don't know, i feel so trapped in my body and world i feel like im gonna crash..

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

April 30Apr 30

31 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
i know, i just.. the symptoms are so freaky and i didn't know it could get this svere i literally don't know how i am surviving or just living even, i feel so dead more then dead ... like more then dead i can't describe it. I really don't know, i feel so trapped in my body and world i feel like im gonna crash..

I wish there was something else besides bravely facing it until it wears off.

Hang in there, you can do this @caitlinnathanie

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

April 30Apr 30

Author

my whole family speaks badly about me like rlly. bad, my sisters are literally fighting to my parents about me (have always been) that i need to do stuff and grow up and stuff and now even my sister left the group chat and i just feel so fucked because i know they are going to say its my fault and im tearing the family apart. My family is really abusive when it comes to my mental health (while their mental health is always nr 1), When my father is depressed everyone needs to loook out for him,, also for my sister, and she is really agressive and still everyone goes to her. im so done and i feel so fucked going back tomorrow. (my sisters don;t live at home) but my parents are soo abusive.

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

April 30Apr 30

35 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
my whole family speaks badly about me like rlly. bad, my sisters are literally fighting to my parents about me (have always been) that i need to do stuff and grow up and stuff and now even my sister left the group chat and i just feel so fucked because i know they are going to say its my fault and im tearing the family apart. My family is really abusive when it comes to my mental health (while their mental health is always nr 1), When my father is depressed everyone needs to loook out for him,, also for my sister, and she is really agressive and still everyone goes to her. im so done and i feel so fucked going back tomorrow. (my sisters don;t live at home) but my parents are soo abusive.

Sorry to hear about the complex family dynamics which certainly not helping @caitlinnathanie but as long as you're recovering and at home I hope you'll be able to find a common language perhaps through the videos we sent that will give them a little more understanding of your process which hopefully take some pressure off you.

In the meantime, think about how you can help yourself get out of catastrophic mode, anything that can calm you down will help minimize conflicts during this difficult time.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Fullhealing

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

1

May 1May 1

9 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:
i know, i just.. the symptoms are so freaky and i didn't know it could get this svere i literally don't know how i am surviving or just living even, i feel so dead more then dead ... like more then dead i can't describe it. I really don't know, i feel so trapped in my body and world i feel like im gonna crash..

I understand, ive heard this alot. We have all felt shocked by what drug harm can do to us. It doesn’t feel natural or normal or like anything we have experienced before. But it’s not going to hurt you. It just feels bad. It’s possible to remove yourself from the feeling, float over it. Starts by not resisting it anymore. Accepting it’s there by giving it no power or attention. It turns down the volume and takes back control. The body is busy fixing this, it’s just about learning some coping skills whilst it does. X

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

1

May 1May 1

5 hours ago, caitlinnathanie said:
my whole family speaks badly about me like rlly. bad, my sisters are literally fighting to my parents about me (have always been) that i need to do stuff and grow up and stuff and now even my sister left the group chat and i just feel so fucked because i know they are going to say its my fault and im tearing the family apart. My family is really abusive when it comes to my mental health (while their mental health is always nr 1), When my father is depressed everyone needs to loook out for him,, also for my sister, and she is really agressive and still everyone goes to her. im so done and i feel so fucked going back tomorrow. (my sisters don;t live at home) but my parents are soo abusive.

I’m sorry to read this. It’s not uncommon. The inequality amongst families is awful. I have it too. I feel for you. You must focus on you for the minute. Try to not give their attitude too much attention either. You are all that matters right now.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

May 1May 1

Author

did u guys ever were scared to eat like a pizza? im literally avoiding all junk but i havent eaten one for like 3 months and my parents are gonna order it.

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

May 1May 1

4 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
did u guys ever were scared to eat like a pizza? im literally avoiding all junk but i havent eaten one for like 3 months and my parents are gonna order it.

Unless it caused you digestive problems in the past, a slice probably won't hurt. And any chance to bond with your family is good.

Discerning what's truly bad for you and what your anxiety is telling you might be bad can be difficult, but doing normal things will help retrain your brain to accept everyday things as mundane and unworthy of overthinking.

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

1

May 1May 1

45 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
did u guys ever were scared to eat like a pizza? im literally avoiding all junk but i havent eaten one for like 3 months and my parents are gonna order it.

Likely due to the fact that your mind locked on fear and therefore it will seize on anything possible such as in this case pizza.

Don't let fear take over, as mstimc60 said, good opportunity to strengthen family bond and also have fun, pizza is yum!

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

1

May 1May 1

1 hour ago, caitlinnathanie said:
did u guys ever were scared to eat like a pizza? im literally avoiding all junk but i havent eaten one for like 3 months and my parents are gonna order it.

A little pizza sounds like a good idea. We just had some here. We always have pizza Fridays. A little bit of carbs is part of a balanced diet. It’s good you are keen to eat well though. Will help your recovery. But tonight bonding over a pizza sounds like a good idea.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

1

May 1May 1

Author

guys i feel so bad i genuinely feel like i don;t undestand life anymore i feel more dead than dead idk sorry i always come to vent here bc the symptoms are so freaky i cant even comprehend how i feel its the freakiest things ever

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

May 1May 1

2 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
guys i feel so bad i genuinely feel like i don;t undestand life anymore i feel more dead than dead idk sorry i always come to vent here bc the symptoms are so freaky i cant even comprehend how i feel its the freakiest things ever

Instead of ruminating on your negative thoughts, try to think about a road ahead. Your thoughts, no matter how strong they seem, are only thoughts. You can choose to give them room and power or you can let them pass through your mind and float away. You can clear your thought habits but you have to accept it will take work and practice. Start with small things as we've advised before and be easy on yourself.

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

2

May 1May 1

Hi you. I have really bad dpdr too, and recognize many of your descriptions. It can't be comprehended this condition, it's just a really absurd state of being, and I have been trying to adopt the mindset of "Riding the storm out". There's a forum called https://www.dpselfhelp.com/, maybe you can find some stories there that are reassuring. I am sorry for all the trouble your family are causing you, I have also had to endure family issues during this. Hang in there and prioritize your own wellbeing. x

July 2014-2016: Sertraline 25mg CT

May 2023 - June 2024: Sertraline 50 mg CT

July 2024 for 3 weeks: Abilify 5mg CT

August 2024: 1x Risperidon pill

August 2024 - December 2024: Escitalopram/Cipralex/Lexapro 5mg CT

January 2025 - 0mg

2

May 1May 1

48 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
guys i feel so bad i genuinely feel like i don;t undestand life anymore i feel more dead than dead idk sorry i always come to vent here bc the symptoms are so freaky i cant even comprehend how i feel its the freakiest things ever

@caitlinnathanie our mind in this process is trapped under chemical storms that take away our ability to work on it fully and this is where acceptance and surrender come in. we need to learn to maneuver between the two.

Do your best to counter the repeated negativity and when it is too strong, let it do its thing and pass.

In the end, either way, thoughts are just thoughts and have no hold if you don't breathe life into them.

Edited May 1May 1 by Fullhealing

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

2

May 4May 4

Hi @caitlinnathanie ,

How are you doing now? Are things a bit settled at home?

12 august 2025; 5mg fluoxetine

30 August 2025: 10mg fluoxetine

11 september 2025: 5mg fluoxetine

19 september 2025; 2.5mg fluoxetine

2 oktober 2025: 0mg

I had to cut my pills in half and quarters, so and don’t think I had accurate dosages.

May 4May 4

Author

35 minutes ago, Sophia said:
Hi @caitlinnathanie ,
How are you doing now? Are things a bit settled at home?

Yes, they have been my parents don't scream at me but they aren't really doing something for me. I had 3 days where i could laugh and do some small stuff and honestly live with it and ignore it. Today im on my period (my periods are really bad) so i feel even more detached and im having panic attacks all day. But yea, trying to tell my self this is temporary.. In 1 week im going to centre parcs with my gf for 3 nights and 4 days so we can chill in a little house in the woods and just chill together.

December bupropion 1 week

January started Fluoxetine 3-4 weeks. 2 weeks 10 mg then started to get dpdr and panic attacks, they gave me 20 mg for another week i think and then i got really bad panic attacks and dpdr and then 3 days 10 mg and then i needed to quit.

Oxazepam 3 days for adrenaline

quetiapine 1 day - made me feel bad so i only took it once.

lorazepam 1 day - got panic bc of the feeling of sedating

Stopped everything 2 months ago, now i have severe dpdr because i was so scared, had a week long panic attacks the whole day every day crying that im gonna die because of feeling of adrenaline and dpdr and I felt really bad. Went to the er a lot of times, healthy. Now I can not get out of bed because of severe dpdr, can not recognize myself at all and im every day more scared.

May 4May 4

1 minute ago, caitlinnathanie said:
had 3 days where i could laugh and do some small stuff and honestly live with it and ignore it.

This is great. I’m so pleased to hear.

1 minute ago, caitlinnathanie said:
Today im on my period (my periods are really bad) so i feel even more detached and im having panic attacks all day.

The change in hormones in your body during this time will likely interfere with everything. Don’t worry too much about it. And of course you will still get windows and waves. Better and worse days.

3 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
But yea, trying to tell my self this is temporary..

Its great you are able to practice some coping skills.

3 minutes ago, caitlinnathanie said:
In 1 week im going to centre parcs with my gf for 3 nights and 4 days so we can chill in a little house in the woods and just chill together.

This sounds perfect. Just what your nervous system needs.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

1

May 4May 4

Good job! Keep going 🤩☺️

12 august 2025; 5mg fluoxetine

30 August 2025: 10mg fluoxetine

11 september 2025: 5mg fluoxetine

19 september 2025; 2.5mg fluoxetine

2 oktober 2025: 0mg

I had to cut my pills in half and quarters, so and don’t think I had accurate dosages.

1

caitlinnathanie: Severe DPDR

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